Beyoncé sang “I’m a single lady” proudly. Some of the people who wrote the following funny tweets are still waiting for the ring. Others preferred to make themselves comfortable on the couch – the right person will show up sooner or later. In a society where relationships seem to be the top priority, tweets like these are exactly what we want to read.
10 funny tweets about being single
“Me: Why is everyone together and I’m single?
Me too: Rejects every date, takes 3-5 business days to respond, and never smiles.”
Being single is quite time-consuming – in addition to all the everyday tasks and self-care, it’s not so easy to take care of dates. Or constantly walking around smiling sweetly. Sometimes we just don’t feel like meeting a total stranger, which nine times out of ten will be at least a waste of time and, at worst, a minor disaster. At least this person knows why the right person hasn’t contacted you yet.
“Have you ever been so single that you didn’t have anyone to drunk text?”
This news certainly sounds a little sad at first glance. But: How many of us have ever been in the exact situation where we drunkenly sent the most embarrassing messages to our exes? Or, even worse: accidentally sent said most embarrassing message to a person with a similar name because we couldn’t check it properly in our condition? This person with no exes in the contact list was spared a lot.
“NETFLIX: Are you still watching?
Me no
NETFLIX: Do you still want to keep it playing in the background to fill the deafening silence of your loneliness?
Me: …yes”
Honestly, who doesn’t know that? At least on some days? Nothing wrong with a little background noise, in our opinion.
“I choose my underwear for the day based on how likely I am to have sex. Today I’m wearing a used grocery bag I found on the side of the road.”
In any case, this person can be said to have realistic ideas and not to be the main character in “Sex and the City”.
“Single at 23: ‘I need to go out and meet someone!’
Single at 29: ‘If it’s meant to be, the right person will find me home.'”
Let’s be honest: At some point the time when we are constantly on the move and rushing from one party to the next will be over. And it’s not just during pandemics that it’s sometimes just more convenient to wait for the right person from home. Finally, there is the delivery service.
“One day a guy will see me eating a whole rotisserie chicken with my bare hands in my parked car and think, ‘That’s her, she’s the one’.”
Because that person will love you just the way you are – bones and all.
“When you’re single, you can miss crazy things.
I crave a fight…I miss being angry.”
There are people who need the adrenaline rush that comes with arguing over dirty dishes, overly explicit looks at other people and toilet seats folded up. Single life is actually not easy for them.
“(first date)
Her: Have you ever been in a long-term relationship?
Me: Yes, I’ve had these shoes for ages.”
You can tell more about a person’s personality from their shoes than you might think. Someone who treats their own pair of feet so conscientiously will surely also strive to have a long-lasting relationship?
“I was on Tinder for about a week, then I left the app because everyone there was into hiking”
Honestly, what does that mean? Hiking, bungee jumping, canoeing in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the most beautiful mountains in the world. What happened to the good old selfie on the couch? Worse still: are you being dragged along to each of these activities, where the person you’re courting obviously doesn’t do anything all day other than hike through valleys, climb unsecured cliffs or jump down from ridiculously high heights? No thanks.
“Dating apps should require you to upload photos of your home so you know what you’re getting into.”
No matter how cute people are, a pile of rubbish in the corner of the apartment with a dead hamster somewhere in between is an absolute no-go.
Source used: twitter.com