Many couples now prefer to argue over text messages. But that’s not always healthy.
We knew “sexting” (or sexting), here comes “fexting”. The expression was popularized by the First Lady of the United States, Jill Biden, and comes from the contraction of “fight” (fighting) and “texting” (sending messages by telephone). She explained that she got into the habit, with her husband, of arguing by texting. All couples have disagreements, but when Joe Biden was still just vice president, his wife was loath to spread out his private life in front of the Secret Service agents who constantly ensure their safety. Hence the use of “fexting”.
This technique has the advantage of being discreet and would be used by many couples who find advantages in it. But for some experts, it is actually unhealthy and could harm the relationship and its members.
We don’t always say to each other what we write to each other
Followers of “fexting” would find there, like Jill Biden, a way to argue quietly. Introverted people who don’t like to show off may be seduced by the concept. Writing things down rather than saying them might help formulate ideas more clearly, calmly and honestly. This also provides time to resolve the conflict.
But everything depends on the use made of these messages. Fexting is therefore also highly criticized. Indeed, while some will be less vehement in a text message, others may on the contrary be more aggressive or tougher they would have dared to be looking the person in the eye. Also, the importance of non-verbal language in an argument should not be overlooked. The fact of not seeing the physical and emotional reactions of his partner during an argument can be a source of misunderstanding. There again, the risk is to write things that one would never have said in a classic argument.