SOS MAÏA
In theory, sexuality is no longer taboo. In practice, there are questions that we dare not ask anyone … In any case, anyone who can judge us (partners, friends) or recognize us (doctors, shrinks). Some confessions are bottles in the sea, anonymous, which are almost private diaries. Some questions, on the other hand, could concern millions of people and would benefit from being discussed collectively. For years now, the columnist of “La Matinale” Maïa Mazaurette (who is not a sex therapist, let us remember!) Has received hundreds of messages. She now answers them once a month, as part of her Sunday column, with her proverbial good humor – and her very personal obsession with a host of statistics.
With my partner, we regularly imagine that we are in the presence of other people. I really want to turn the game into reality. I think she does too, even though she says otherwise. However, I fear that taking action will alter our relationship … What do you say?
Dear role-playing fan, I wouldn’t want to be a killjoy, but what can ruin your relationship is not listening to your partner when she talks to you. Sexual urge is always complex. Maybe your partner loves these scenarios precisely because they are still scenarios. Maybe her fantasized partners are far too perfect to be “embodied” in real people, who would have real demands and produce real sweat that stains your real sofa. Maybe your partner is faking the excitement to please you. Perhaps she does indeed want to sleep with other partners… but without your participation and without your watching.
Even after ten, twenty, forty years of conjugality, the intimate life of our loved ones still remains a mystery. We can only trust their words – which are, in this case, crystal clear. No is no.
Can we be sexually unfaithful and faithful in love?
Exactly the way you can hate cappuccino but love the Tropezian tart: there is a connection (give me a liter of whipped cream), but we are talking about two parallel realities, the paths of which do not always cross. Everyone invests their sexuality with affects that are specific to them, which depend on their experience and their values: the trifle can be sacred or trivialized, be accompanied by feelings (if oxytocin and the candlelit dinner decide to bring us down love), indifference (from a purely mechanical perspective) or contempt (if one has been brought up with the idea that sex is inseparable from a form of defilement).
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