Flap!
6 sentences that, as a childless woman, I’m slowly getting tired of hearing
© Michael Blann/Getty Images
The year is 2021, but childlessness among women is apparently still a big issue. In any case, our author has to listen to a lot about it.
Hanna Schuermann
Kids are great! They ask funny questions, they look cute and if you look at human history and be honest, they usually do better than their parents.
Mothers, on the other hand, are heroines! Not only do they endure physical exertion for their offspring during pregnancy, birth and, if necessary, breastfeeding. Bravely and unselfishly, they also accept all the difficulties and complications that having children brings with it in terms of career and financial planning for women. Oh, and then on top of that, moms have to deal with the fact that what they’re doing is doing it wrong: “You’re back to work even though your baby is only six months old? How heartless…!” Or vice versa: “Whaaat, you’re a full-time mom? Puh, 1917 says hello…”
But while I unreservedly celebrate both mothers and children, becoming a mother was never an option for me personally. I’m 33 and I can’t vouch for the fact that my attitude might not change in the next few years. But I don’t think it’s likely because I’ve never considered having children before. The decision to have no children has always felt right and appropriate to me, without ever having struggled with it. Only for others it obviously needs a lot of explanation. And so I am allowed to listen to the same questions and comments over and over again, similar to what mothers probably do when they go to work or stay at home. To name just six examples…
6 comments that I have heard enough as a childless woman
1. You have no children? Why not?
Yes, why not? And why didn’t I train as a nurse or study to become a teacher? hmm Not having children is one of many decisions I’ve made. My life, my body, my business.
2. Aren’t you afraid of being alone when you’re old or dying lonely?
Certainly not a nice idea. But is that why I bring a life into the world and spend most of my own life in a way that doesn’t fulfill me? Also: Who gives me the guarantee that a child would be by my side when I say goodbye?
3. You sure would have totally cute kids.
It would depend very much on what zodiac sign they had! A Cancer would certainly be cute, but I wouldn’t be so sure about a Virgo…
4. You have no idea how lucky it is to become a mother!
What is luck?
5. You would definitely be a good mother.
I’d be a sight to behold alongside Joaquin Phoenix too! But I’m happy where I am and Rooney Mara fits in just as well.
6. What if you eventually want some, but it’s too late by then?
I’ll deal with that when the time comes.
After all: Women can already be so many things today that were not possible just a few years ago – Chancellor, CEO, a former husband… Certainly it is only a matter of a few years before they can also be childless without comment. And until then, I’ll just keep exercising my patience.