The documentary “Preliminaries”, by Julie Talon, reveals the rites of passage of sexuality in very young adolescents, marked by rawness and brutality that are often traumatic, especially for girls.
It’s an Arte documentary that is a real bomb. A long cluster bomb. With side effects for life. “Preliminaries”, directed in 2019 by Julie Talon, reveals the sexual life of teenagers and teenagers that their parents do not suspect. Impossible indeed to imagine his baby doing his first fellatio at the age when we, we did not yet think of finding out about how to kiss. We knew our precocious teenagers, well, more mature than we were. Here we have the frightening demonstration. It’s not maturity, it’s distortion, I weigh the term. And it is not them who will contradict me.
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“Old” 18-20 year olds say: “Sex is the baccalaureate of social life, with its rites of passage from which you cannot derogate. No question of grilling a stage. And what are these stages, at the end of childhood? Prelis, pardi! The preliminaries. But without any romanticism or free will. The teenagers explain (some without appearing on camera): “You get naked, then we kiss, then he touches you, he puts his fingers on you, then you suck him off. Then you can go further. “I specify that the interested parties are 13-14 years old. The girls do violence to each other, perform oral sex “to please him”. Disgusted, you surprise me: “I didn’t like it, and I didn’t know what to do, when to stop…”
Between boys, it’s humiliation with friends if his girlfriend hasn’t done it to him. So they lie (phew) or blackmail the “nudes”. Another rite: naked, erotic photos, supposed to remain private but which circulate at the first attempt at resistance. “At first it was a bitch thing. It was requested by the adults. Now everyone sends it. ” Oh good ? They know it, however, it’s a trap, “because if he screens you, everyone sees you”. And often, the traitor, he screens you (he takes a screenshot that he can spread), that enhances him. Yes, we learn very young the reality of human nature. And we integrate the desperate female submission into the straight world. We who believed that this generation had solved the problem. Smoke ! I quote: “It’s all about the dick! »
Some see it as a form of power: “I control the guy with the photos of my body. “Let’s admit. But once live, the boys do not control their impulses. An “old man” (19 years old) remembers, embarrassed: “We were 13 and 14 years old, I wanted to penetrate her, she didn’t want to anymore, I continued… Afterwards, you can’t go back. “For girls as for boys, when there are only “prelis”, it cannot be a question of rape. “Prelis aren’t really sex. It’s sex “less”. Penetration, yes, is more-more sex. “Knowing that, for the instructions, they are all stored in the same school, porn and rap. An 18-year-old “old man” described, retrospectively bewildered: “Taking a girl through such a hole, a mandatory “deep throat”, strangulation during penetration…”
Help, trauma! How are they going to get out of this? The interviewees speak like quadras. Analytical, distanced, lucid. They remember everything, angry at the adults who looked the other way, still glued to retro sex education lessons “with a key and a lock”! But it takes courage to alert your parents at this age. Not even in dreams. One of them, in tears: “I was 13 years old, I was ugly, flat, complexed… “They” circulated photos of me pointing out my faults, and others that I didn’t have. not even seen. And even my friends “liked” them! I was too ashamed to tell my parents. We listen, torn, and we are helpless. Another, cynical: “As I was not attractive, I had to give them some ass. »
What violence! How does one evolve after such rites of passage? Four, five years later, these very young adults who went to war do not talk about their wounds. And we, the ancestors, we saw nothing, heard nothing, understood nothing. Poor naive people.