Is THAT the best way to fall in love – and find true love?
The Clubhouse social app offers a lot of discussion material and sometimes quite divides the opinions. What interests us at this point: Could the clubhouse principle possibly be the silver bullet in the search for true love?
For those who haven't noticed: Clubhouse is a social app that you can use to exchange ideas and network – and only by listening to yourself. No profile pictures, no photo or video uploads, people talk and listen to each other for a change. Exciting enough! Initially, Clubhouse was discussed mainly because there is initially only one version for the iPhone and not for Android and because someone has to invite you to use the app. Worth discussing, no question at all!
What interests us at this point, however, is the potential of the clubhouse concept, namely the potential to make new acquaintances – and possibly even to fall in love with someone without ever having seen them. Does the clubhouse principle perhaps offer the chance to get to know, appreciate and love a person for his or her character and inner values, without being distracted and manipulated by external appearances? Or is something crucial missing if we don't see a person getting to know each other? Let's just play it through …
The first impression in the clubhouse principle: Less information, more emotional openness
Our first impression of a person will be completely different if we only hear their voice and hear what they are saying. All the information that largely shapes our first impression when getting to know each other face-to-face – facial expressions, style, smell, visual attractiveness – are missing when approaching the clubhouse principle. As a result, we would probably make an emotional judgment about the person less quickly or finally, on the one hand, and on the other hand we would certainly place more emphasis on the little information that is available to us: voice, way of speaking, content of the words.
This in turn would mean that we would give people a fairer chance whose appearance and demeanor might make us uncomfortable or simply put us off at first glance. In return, it might be much more difficult for someone with us who might enchant us with his smile in a face-to-face situation or who we would just find damn hot. In any case, we could get to know each other much more impartially and uninhibitedly than if we had all the information for our first impression that an encounter inevitably entails. This is where the clubhouse principle has its charm …
Getting to know each other according to the clubhouse principle: Less distraction, more clarity
In the further course of getting to know each other according to the clubhouse principle, it can be assumed that we should be far more attentive to what we share and tell each other than in other dating situations. After all, we would not be distracted by the appearance of the other person, nor would we have to worry about how we look to others and whether we might have spinach between our teeth. We could concentrate fully on the content and would certainly find out very quickly whether we are on the same wavelength, can have a good conversation, laugh together, have something in common – or have nothing to say to each other after five minutes or every few sentences misunderstand.
Is it possible to fall in love with a person this way? Probably yes. Can you develop feelings? Most certainly. But in order for a relationship to develop from a clubhouse acquaintance, we would have to meet sooner or later – and that would certainly be different than under normal circumstances.
From the clubhouse to reality: that can happen
We probably didn't go into the first meeting with our clubhouse acquaintance with prejudice, but with a reasonably clear picture in mind. We will have a rough idea of the person who may now be disappointed – or surpassed. Suddenly we get all the information that we were missing the whole time: Do we find people attractive? Can we "smell it good"? Does it suit us optically or in our prey scheme? This new information can either shake or confirm the feelings we have built up so far – but it is unlikely to be able to erase them in one fell swoop. In this respect, according to the clubhouse principle, it will certainly be more difficult to let go of someone with whom there is definitely nothing physically going – an emotional burden that the first impression when getting to know each other in the conventional way protects us fundamentally.
Data according to the clubhouse principle: do it or leave it?
With clubhouse dating, i.e. getting to know each other without seeing each other, there is definitely the potential to find great love and to fall in love with someone with whom we are connected by far more than our prey pattern or physical and sexual attraction! However, this type of dating also carries the risk of getting emotionally involved in something that may not work in the end – and that means not only disappointment, but real pain. Nevertheless, the bottom line is that dating according to the clubhouse principle seems to be an exciting format and a worthwhile experiment, especially for everyone who is annoyed by the usual partner search and perceives it as superficial. After all, when we fall in love we always run the risk of getting hurt and disappointed no matter which way we do it. And we don't need to discuss that it's definitely worth it.