Couples therapist warns
What habit you can use to ruin your relationship
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In every relationship you struggle with different problems. However, one difficulty keeps cropping up. Here you can find out what it is – and how you can solve it.
Kira Asatryan is a relationship coach and author (“Stop being lonely”) and knows her way around relationships. She writes in the US Times Magazine that she repeatedly encourages those involved in couples therapy to talk more about their own feelings. Basically, the main thing is to rethink your own behavior and understand your emotions.
According to Asatryan, happiness and unhappiness in a relationship depend mainly on one thing: our thoughts. Or rather: our weird world of thought. We process the world and our experiences in our heads. Together they form a truth for us. A truth that we often perceive as THE truth. In fact, there is a different truth in every head. Because everyone interprets things around them differently, feelings meet different wounds, experiences are weighted and filtered.
According to the relationship expert, anyone who realizes that other people – and especially the partner or partners: in – thinks another truth is correct has a higher chance that the relationship will also succeed.
It can have these consequences if you persist in “your truth”
1. The partner (s): in is in second place
Whoever is convinced that his truth is the ultimate, puts his: n partner: in one step down immediately. Because his or her view of things is not taken seriously. We should not forget: No matter how absurd the views of our counterpart may sound to us – they are true in their world.
2. Conflicts cannot be resolved
“No, what you say is just not true.” By saying sentences like these, we respect our: e partner: in not. We don’t acknowledge that he or she feels things differently than we do. Of course, conflicts can also be resolved if the other gives in to our point of view and does what we want. But is that really convincing? Or is the other not just suppressing anger at the moment?
With a fair solution, both sides approach a compromise – and respect each other. They feel in the other: n so that they can understand each other.