Become more self-confident, have less fear, cope better with the obstacles of life and stay on track even when things go wrong? Our author knows what helps and is diligently building an inner refuge. Here comes your blueprint.
Well-being, balance and security are closely linked. But when a storm comes along and shakes our insides, we are grateful for a safe haven. And it’s best when we can find that one place – our safe place – within ourselves.
A refuge that we connect with in uncertain times
Admittedly, it sounds a bit esoteric, but when we feel insecure, when we seem to be losing control, when the restlessness doesn’t let us calm down, when we feel like we’re lost, then we need him, this one Place where we find support – not in others, but deep within ourselves. And once we have built it, it stays with us forever. It’s worth the effort, right?
Feel? Where?
We don’t like to be vulnerable, we don’t have time for it, we suppress what’s possible or we’re quickly overwhelmed by it. Negative feelings are uncomfortable. But the most uncomfortable thing about them is that they keep showing up at our door, often unannounced. Because they want to be seen. Otherwise they will widen a little and make us feel this caustic restlessness, but what we need above all is that: peace.
Peace to feel ourselves and to find access to ourselves again. And we can find this peace by building our safe haven within ourselves.
Blueprint for your safe place
1. Silence
To create a base, you have to we can endure silence. We can do this by learning to let our thoughts go without judging them. Anyone who has ever done yoga knows this: everything can be there. It always sounds very easy at first and suddenly you find yourself sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed, already preparing the shopping list for the next day in your head, coordinating the children’s appointments or a problem for you Job solves. Damned! We don’t want to think!
Patience is required here and a little practice every day in allowing ourselves to do nothing but just be there for a few minutes a day. If you find it difficult, small routines in everyday life can also help, for example meditating for 10 minutes after getting up or before going to sleep.
2. Acceptance and emptiness
We have a lot of expectations of ourselves and others, and others expect a lot from us. If we want to build an inner calm space, we need our own boundaries. But instead of putting up walls, we have to tear down the ones that separate us from ourselves. This means that in order to reconnect with ourselves, we must let go of what is holding us in the past and learn to accept what is right now.
We can no longer change the past and we cannot control what lies in the future. It just takes energy to deal with “what ifs” and “but if I had done things differently…” It takes time, but at some point you will feel it when you are in the here and now.
3. Imagination and vision
what does he look like the place where you feel comfortable? Where you are free and can be completely with yourself, where you can find peace? Imagine it exactly and go there again and again in your mind.
4. Confounding factors
Our shelter is a Long term project – or as they say: a marathon and not a sprint. Not everything will go smoothly. There will be days when everything comes up: fear, uncertainty, insecurities, pain. It is part of it. We grow from that. No pressure! But accept what is. Step by step. The more you practice and take the time, the more stable the safe place within you becomes where you can relax for a few minutes.
And why the elevation?
Many of us just carry on somehow, ignoring our needs and warning signals, and at some point the structure called life that we have so laboriously maintained suddenly collapses and catapults us into states that we had no idea that they could feel like that. We then usually begin to painstakingly put ourselves back together, brick by brick, and rebuild our lives. If we work prophylactically on our safe center, our walls will be better able to withstand one or two changes. We don’t sink into the rubble, to stick with the metaphor, but can look at the disaster from above from the crane and look at ourselves from the outside. We approach life more calmly and feel less thrown off track when something unexpected happens. After all, we have everything we need within us. That’s very comforting when you’re staring at a major construction site, isn’t it?