Constantly inventing solutions, this is the daily challenge for parents to solve their child's problems, big and small. Catherine Dumonteil Kremer, a fervent follower of positive parenting, has developed a range of tools to help parents develop their imaginations. This is what she calls the "creative parenting"which she put into images in the form of a comic strip (ed. First)."I prefer this concept to that of positive parenting, which implies that there would be negative parenting", explains Catherine Dumonteil Kremer."The vast majority of parents want the best for their child, everyone is in the same boat. It is up to everyone to find solutions in accordance with their beliefs, culture and traditions"
Before 6 years old, the child is learning about the world. "Rather than nonsense, I will speak of blunders", continues Catherine Dumonteil Kremer."Any inappropriate action is a cry for help. It is always the expression of something. You have to ask yourself: is he tired? Have there been any arguments? Inappropriate actions are messages. The first thing to do is figure out what's going on. Before a certain age, it is quite normal for a child to ignore what is said to him.Here are some tools to help parents.
Listening to emotions
Is your child having a fit at the supermarket because he asks for a toy that you don't want to buy for him? If he cries, if he gets angry, listen to his dissatisfaction. Instead of getting angry by asking him to stop his seizure and his tears, find a place to isolate yourself (the toilet for example…). Explain to him that he has the right to be sad, listen to him in his anger, do not try to suffocate him at all costs.
Invent a game
"Go brush the teeth","put on your pajamas"Making daily chores a struggle is lost. To help your child take action, create games."To brush their teeth, you can do it with your child, organize a race against the clock or even use toothpaste that reveals plaque to make them aware of the importance of this obligatory passage.", notes Catherine Dumonteil Kremer."Anything that is everyday can be negotiable. There are always 1000 tips to find for every situation."
The pillow of anger
Impossible to be a perfect parent 24 hours a day. Tension at work, daily life to manage, even the most caring parents end up cracking. "There is no shame in feeling overwhelmed", relativizes Catherine Dumonteil Kremer."Do not hesitate to isolate yourself in your room, go and cry on a pillow. It deadens the sound and you can let your tears fall. It's normal to crack. "The number of SOS parenting (Tel. 09 74 763 963) has been set up to allow parents to let go of the pressure and to feel heard.
This game allows children to release tensions which we do not know the origin. Define a time in the week and a defined time (5, 10, 15 min). During this time, it is the child who decides what he wants to do. You are fully available to him. "It often ends in rowdiness, in great laughter", remarks the specialist in creative parenting."It is an emotional discharge that allows tensions to be released". You can organize it once a month.
Time is a very long concept for a child to learn. Tell him "in 5 minutes, we'll go to the table", has no meaning for him. Opt for a timer. Some exist with several lights: green / orange / red, which indicate to the child the remaining time."At the beginning, we can give him 5 more minutes to integrate this notion little by little", advises the specialist.
Lead by example
"80% of children follow in their parents' footsteps", notes the specialist in creative parenting."Children learn a lot by imitation."If you want your child not to constantly unfasten the seat belt, start by checking that yours is properly fastened. In food, it's a great classic. If you want to give them a new meal, enjoy – him with him.
To read: Creative parenting, drawn guide from birth to 6 years old, Catherine Dumonteil Kremer, Lise Desportes, First éditions
Read also :
⋙ 8 mistakes to avoid so as not to turn him into a tyrant child
⋙ Positive education: 10 comic book tips to better talk to your child
⋙ He doesn't listen to anything, 5 ideas to get him to cooperate without getting upset