Emotional exhaustion: signs, symptoms and solutions

The year 2020 will have brought us its fair share of emotional trials. Anxiety in the face of illness, forced teleworking or job loss, children to manage most of the time at home, estrangement from their family, cohabitation imposed on certain couples whose balance consisted of long periods of freedom, etc. all these changes accumulated in our daily life undermine our balance, and in particular that of our emotions. Result? A strong risk of emotional exhaustion for many of us, especially the most demanding of ourselves, or those who are reluctant to listen to ourselves.

What is emotional exhaustion?

Emotional exhaustion is an imbalance between what you give and what you receive. We are constantly looking for a psychic, emotional and physical balance, which can be compromised by external elements for which we are responsible or not. Imagine, however, a pendulum which would hold valiantly, but would be progressively unbalanced on both sides. Likewise, in a slow and underhanded process, emotional exhaustion progresses, sets in until a collapse that we did not necessarily see coming. For some, it ends one morning when, without understanding how or why, you can no longer get up, emptied of your emotional resources and strength, overwhelmed by the well-known burnout (professional exhaustion syndrome), your corollary, the bore-out (syndrome of professional exhaustion by boredom), or the excess of a mental load not necessarily related to our job but from which it is sometimes difficult to recover. This is why it is important to learn about the symptoms of this emotional exhaustion which is crippling our sanity, in order to take the bull by the horns before it is too late.

Emotional exhaustion: symptoms that should alert

As we have seen, emotional exhaustion is an alteration of emotional reactions. And this alteration can result in an increase in these reactions (in the case of a burnout), but also in its decrease (in that of a bore-out). Among the signs, we note:

• unusual irritability (you lose patience with children, colleagues, and even the baker, who takes too long to give change)
• great fatigue, in the morning and even after a "night's rest", which gives the feeling that you will not achieve anything
• Stress at the thought of the tasks you have to accomplish, and the feeling of not even knowing how to organize them in relation to each other
• Problems sleeping (insomnia is one of the most common symptoms of emotional exhaustion)
• Memory problems (a feeling of not being able to "print" everything, forgetfulness which is unusual for us)
• Difficulty concentrating
• Hypersensitivity (extreme susceptibility, tendency to overreact to comments, both positive and negative)
• On the contrary, a loss of pleasure and above all of desire (wanting nothing, inability to project into what we would like or what would make us happy).

Often, these signs are associated with a real somatization which causes physical pain or diseases such as migraines, back pain, or stomach pain more or less benign.

These first signs are often the result of a particular everyday reality. Burnout and bore out are most often associated with the professional field, and it is true that demanding work or linked to a potential risk of dismissal can be the cause of emotional exhaustion syndrome. But many personal situations can also give rise to such symptoms. Among them, we think of the growing number of caregivers who, in contact with patients, do not listen well to themselves, take little or no leave or vacation and often feel helpless in the face of illness. Parents of children who are experiencing problems, or of large families, but also people immersed in a conflictual couple relationship are also subjected to this famous imbalance between what they give and think they receive in return. A feeling of non-recognition of the work accomplished results, which further undermines our emotional balance.

What solutions to fight emotional exhaustion?

If the collapse is often the result of external factors disrupting our ability to manage everything, it is good to remember that, most of the time, this pressure that afflicts us, it is we who impose it on ourselves, by being too demanding. to ourselves.
– In order to regain balance, we must first repel our perfectionist inclinations. We allow failure (without which we will no longer dare to accept certain opportunities, convinced that we will not "succeed"), the idea that we cannot necessarily manage everything, ask for help, know how to say "no" or reorganizing untenable schedules are a basis on which we will be able to build our recovery.
– To restKnowing how to say stop and disconnect from this humdrum, or train at a hundred miles an hour in which we were on board, are the first condition for seeing more clearly.
– And then spend time with family, lift the foot, breathe to clear his mind. Putting words on your desires, thinking about what you no longer want, or what you have to solve to be able to start again on the right foot often takes time, which you have to accept to let yourself go on pain of leaving again in exhaustion without being totally healed.
– So, we recommend list your desires, its priorities, rationally. This can mean giving up certain activities, for the better (and often for just a short time). Or even consider a professional reorientation, a change of company, an adaptation of our mission.
– Then, and to stay the course without diving back, you can buy a nice notebook that will serve as " emotional journal », In which we will record our feelings on a regular basis. Because when the collapse occurs, it is also and above all because we refused to listen to ourselves. That we kept those little things at bay, those signals that gently slapped us on the shoulder, thinking that eventually everything would be fine.

Sometimes emotional exhaustion has given way to a deeper depression from which we cannot escape on our own. Mental health is no longer a taboo, and should be treated with at least as much care as our physical ailments. Talking to your doctor about it so that he can direct us to a professional who can help us, and without delay, is essential. For yourself, for those around you, and because stumbling along the long road of life often allows you to ask yourself the right questions, and to realize that you may have taken the wrong direction.