5 languages of love
What is your love language?
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True love knows no misunderstandings? Are you kidding me? Are you serious when you say that! According to experts, there are five love languages, and if we do NOT understand our partner’s, we’re bound to have a fight.
In some relationships the worm is just in there. Although there is absolutely no doubt that the partners love each other and belong togetherit comes up all the time Misunderstandings, disputes and injuries.
Does something ring? Yes here too …
Thankfully, the American psychologist and relationship expert knows Gary Chapman Advice. According to him there is five love languages. If two people in a relationship different love languages speak, are injuries guaranteed – true love or not. But there is hope: A love language can be learned!
What is love language?
We all express love differently – depending on personality, characterization through experience and assessment of our perception. Not only in partnerships, but in general. A love language is the way a person shows love and sympathy to others.
- Does he say “I love you” every time he says goodbye?
- Does she collect extra overtime to take the children off her partner for an afternoon?
- Does she give up jogging to have breakfast in bed with him?
According to Chapman five fundamentally different approaches capturing how people communicate love. His five-language model is based on this.
The 5 languages of love at a glance
- words of appreciation
- Gifts
- Support
- Time together
- physical touch
Basically is every person able to understand all kinds of declarations of love – and to use at least simple, basic vocabulary yourself.
The 5 love languages in detail
1. Words of Appreciation
Compliments, praise, verbal appreciation, outspoken understanding and approval – if you express your affection a lot and explicitly in a marriage or partnership, you will probably mainly use it words to express his love. Typical words of appreciation:
- “It’s nice that you’re here!”
- “Thank you for understanding me!”
- “You are my absolute dream woman!”
2. Gifts
For some, attention and gifts may just be a give and take based on social conventions – but for many, too a way of communicating feelings. Unsurprisingly, people who primarily express their love with gifts do not wait for occasions such as Christmas or birthdays. She give when they feel like it, the way they feel. Be it …
- a friendship bracelet
- a special book or
- the knitted scarf
(In case you got stuck in conventional gift giving and are wondering: why do we celebrate Christmas? – you will find out in our article)
3. Support through action
Willingness to help and self-evident support and support in all matters is often perceived simply as niceness or a positive character trait. But in truth, it’s often a form of communication – by people whose native tongue is love “Acts of Service” is called. Examples can be:
- Help clean up
- Take the purchase
- Carry your partner’s bike down to the basement without being asked
4. Time together
Those who do everything they can to experience as much as possible with their sweetheart and many moments of togetherness to create, he probably expresses his love more with this language. So what does that mean for couples? Well, so that at least one of the two is more committed to ensuring that they …
- pursue common hobbies
- Spend weekends and vacations together
- Maintain rituals such as meals together.
5. Physical Touch
Affection, touch, physical intimacy, sex – of course everyone has a need for it. But for some, the touches and caresses they give their partner beyond physical needs and fulfill an emotional one: to show the other how much you love him. Typical vocabulary of these people is …
Why should you know the 5 love languages?
Putting the bike in the basement, holding hands, going jogging together – it might sound like there’s not much to misunderstand. Or as if it weren’t so bad if you didn’t recognize all gestures of love as such. But in practice it can quickly lead to difficulties if people love in different ways.
Let’s just imagine my partner doing me a labor of love that I don’t recognize as such. Instead, I want or even expect praise or tenderness. He feels misunderstood, I feel unloved. Silly!
Knowing at least the 5 love languages is so helpful and useful because they teach us even more raise awareness that our perspective is neither the only possible nor the only right one. And this knowledge is ultimately not only invaluable for a partner, but also for singles…