Bad luck in the game, luck in the … Friendzone? Are you involuntarily in the friend zone with your crush and want to get out of there? You can find out how this can happen and what you can really do here.
The importance of the friend zone
What is the friend zone or in German the friend zone anyway? "I'm in the friend zone" means something like, "I want more than just friendship with friend XY". In that case, one of the two friends has more than friendly feelings for the other. The other person usually doesn't know anything about it and sees this relationship as purely platonic. How do you end up in the friendship zone? Probably via one of the two rails:
From date to buddy
The date goes nice, but no mood really wants to arise and your flirtation does not respond to your advances (if you do some). Instead of follow-up dates, it turns into friendly meetings – the romantic moment is long over.
"Touched 1000 times …
… 1000 times nothing has happened "- You have known each other for a while, you are (good) friends, but suddenly it feels different when you are together? The phenomenon of slow love, falling in love with each other, is even not so unusual, because when we get to know a person better, the way we perceive them also changes – stupid only if they don't both fall in love at the same time – and one of the two involuntarily stays in the friend zone.
How do I know that I am in the Friendzone?
You have probably already realized that you are in the friend zone. Because if it had sparked between you, you would probably be beyond that long ago. But signs that you are in there are e.g. B .:
- Your crush will talk to you about anything they would not otherwise talk about to others
- You never meet alone, only in groups
- Your crush is trying to pair you up with others
- Approaches are not perceived as such
Reasons for the friendship zone
Your crush "only" wants friendship with you? Don't take it personally, most people don't want to lock someone in a friend zone for any bad faith. Reasons someone with nothing more than a platonic relationship may wish for can be:
- Your lover is in love with someone else
- The crush is already in a relationship
- You don't fall into the prey scheme of the swarm
- Your crush simply has no feelings for you
Tips to leave the friendzone
You are now wondering how you can leave the Friendzone? You can certainly try to meet your crush to meet more often alone and to see if there isn't more to it than friendship. Also to mark advances as such (without being intrusive …), brings your crush on the track that you can imagine more than one platonic relationship. Did you diligently give tips beforehand on how he or she can end up with someone else? So your dream person hardly notices that you have feelings for him …
So you can stalk your way slowly. If the person doesn't jump on it, sooner or later it will result in Confess your feelings to your crush. Maybe he's secretly in love and didn't dare. Or, for other reasons, your crush is not interested in more with you (see points above).
If the interest is mutual, you can now go a step further: Go on official dates and get closer and closer.
Rejection – what now?
"I can no longer imagine myself as friendship" – of course you don't want to hear that in such a situation. Whether the friendship proposal is just an excuse because the person doesn't dare to tell you that they don't have these feelings ultimately doesn't matter. Being unhappily in love is not a nice state of affairs, but neither is the end of the world (even if it feels like it at first). There are strategies with which you can fall out of love, i.e. let go of your crush. If your feelings are too strong, you should seriously consider breaking off contact. At least until you're over it. And if your crush doesn't understand that, they might be no good as a friend.
You should run away from these types of men immediately
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End one-sided friendship
If your crush keeps asking you for something because he knows you won't refuse him anything, that has little to do with Friendzone or with friendship at all. You are being exploited. It's not because you're too nice or something like that. rather, it means that your crush is taking advantage of your feelings and is only thinking of its own benefit. Whether he is one of the energy vampires is an open question, but if you are being exploited, you should stop that right away.
If something like this happens to you often, you may be subject to the phenomenon of firedooring: one gives, the other takes. Here are explanations of why some people are exploited more than others and what to do in such a one-sided relationship.
The eternal buddy
Are you always seen as a buddy? In order not to end up in the friend zone when you are interested in someone, you should make it clear from the start that this is more than just a meeting with friends – with sensitivity, of course!
As Flirt Coach Horst Wenzel explained to rp-online, there are three levels of attraction:
- You clarify whether you find yourself sympathetic.
- You talk about personal matters and synchronize your body language, so you get involved in a deeper connection.
- Sexual confidence is developed by checking to see if it is okay to touch.
People who end up in the friend zone often fail to take into account the emotional-sexual component, Wenzel continues. In that case, they stop at the level of getting to know each other and remain in the friendship zone.
Always the wrong one
Always in love with the wrong person – some of you are probably familiar with the problem. Then you should ask yourself: Do you always fall in love with a certain type of person? And is that the right one? Here you can try to break your pattern and consciously choose someone who does not actually correspond to your type and get involved in something new.
Do you want to talk to others about topics like Friendzone & Co.? Then take a look at the BRIGITTE community!
Sources used: rp-online.de