According to the stories told by all the artistic universes, it would be enough to blink your eyes to fall in love. Love at first sight, dazzling and instantaneous, would give birth to fruitful love in just a few seconds. But scientists will partly break this myth… How long does it really take to fall in love?
If we can easily spot when we are already in love with our other half, thanks to all these common symptoms that we attribute to the fact of to fall in love (like butterflies in the belly, for example); what triggers this feeling? To understand it, it is necessary to look at what is happening inside our body. These are mainly chemical and biological phenomena which are at work when you fall in love with someone.
Indeed, our colleagues from Health Magazine explain that the process of falling in love consists of a neurophysiological reaction that activates secretion of many hormones. Among them, we find: dopamine (which creates desire for the other), norepinephrine (which generates excitement and energy), phenylethylamine (which makes us euphoric to such an extent that we forget to eat, drink, or even sleep), oxytocin (which creates emotional attachment to others), serotonin (which makes us happy) etc.
If we stick to this purely biological and chemical aspect, it would therefore suffice to know how long it takes for the body to trigger this production of hormones to know how long it takes to fall in love.
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According to biology, how long does it take to fall in love?
“You can instantly fall in love (…) the brain circuits necessary for love can be triggered instantly”explains Helen Fisher, anthropologist and researcher in human behavior, to our counterparts of Shape Magazine. In this sense, a scientific study* conducted in 2010 demonstrated that the said brain mechanisms, which we mentioned above, can be activated by 1/5th of a second only. From the moment the two people meet, they can thus develop feelings.
The researchers of theprinceton university** moreover corroborate these comments: according to their statements, it would suffice to1/10th of a second to judge someone’s attractiveness. A rather interesting piece of data when you know that love at first sight is above all physical (both in the eyes of the person who falls in love and in their body, with all the chemical processes that are activated)… We can therefore fall in love in the within a minute, if one is struck by lightning. Moreover, this is not such a trivial phenomenon, since 1 out of 2 French people declares to have already experienced one***.
But this scientific observation summarizes the fact of falling in love on its physical, primary, biological side. What do people who have fallen in love themselves say?
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Falling in love: it would take several months to feel it and say it
Other studies tend to lengthen the time it takes to love your other half. Indeed, if we are interested in the statements of the persons concerned, it would seem that falling in love takes several months, and not a few seconds, as biology suggests. This is shown by a study**** conducted by the dating site eHarmony in 2018: respondents said “I love you” to their partner after four months on average. These observations are supplemented by other very serious surveys***** carried out on this subject: the British site Match specified that it was necessary 144 daysthat is 4 and a half months preciselyto express his feelings.
Men fall in love faster than women: why?
The period of time during which we develop feelings differs by gender. Indeed, men not only fall in love more quickly, but they are also more likely to confess their feelings. Several studies, published in the journal American Psychological Association in 2011, the results of which were relayed by our colleagues at Glamour.comexplain that the men declared their love after 97 dayswhile women averaged 139 days to do it ; this being related to the fact that they fall in love faster than their female counterparts.
But how to explain this? Could this gender gap be linked to the way the sexes fall in love? For some, like Robert Greene (writer, best-selling author according to the New York Times), them men are seduced by the visualappearance physicalwhile women fall in love with words, lyrics. However, seeing and admiring someone only takes a few seconds; talking to him and getting to know him verbally takes a lot more time…
The answer is therefore multiple and far from being unique; it is difficult to make a categorical statement. Some fall in love instantly… For others, it takes longer. Love at first sight does indeed exist, but there is also love that is said to be “constructed”. In addition to the biological and chemical aspect, this feeling also depends on psychological and sociological factors, directly related to our environment (family for example).
Open-minded and in love with life, Emilie likes to decipher the new phenomena that shape society and relationships today. Her passion for the human being motivates her to write…