With one sentence
This is how you support your adult child without interfering
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It can be difficult for parents when their children go their own way, finish school and start studying or training, for example. Especially if the first attempt causes problems for the child. Which sentence can help? We’ll tell you.
After all, now is the time to be independent, try things out and master adult life. Maybe he:she doesn’t want advice because it embarrasses him:her or makes him angry that things don’t really work out without the parents. With just four words, parents can set an initial example so that their adult children can look more positively into the future – without putting pressure on them.
This sentence also helps adult children
In a parent-child relationship, the child always remains the child in the eyes of the parents – regardless of whether they are 20, 30 or 50. Therefore, it is completely normal to want to help and support. After all, that was previously a big part of your own parental role. Giving advice and worrying when we feel like things aren’t going well are bad reactions. But this one Parents should mostly keep their worries to themselves or push them aside. Because they can be more of a brake than a support – and the last thing a child needs during a difficult time in life is more doubt.
Instead, parents should try to trust in the child and make that clear with the following sentence:
I believe in you.
Use of Expresses love and confidence and shows: I know that it can be difficult sometimes, but I believe in your inner strength. Psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein explains on Psychology Today that parents often try to solve their children’s problems. But it is better to let them talk and reflect first and express their own confidence. Because If parents often intervene, the adult child does not learn to truly stand on their own two feet. It’s good if he knows that he can turn to his parents – but it’s just as good to have a certain amount of confidence in his own abilities.
Reasons why “I believe in you” helps
According to Bernstein, this simple sentence has several advantages. For example, he leads to more self-confidence, increasing motivation and also improved mental health. Because when someone believes in us, we also believe in ourselves more confidence in your own abilities. This often stimulates your own positive thoughts and ensures that you want to change something and try to tackle the problem. And anyone who has then learned that talking to their parents has helped will perhaps approach them when challenges arise – and are more likely to seek help from family or friends.
How parents of adult children best behave
Critical thoughts about your children’s lifestyle are normal. But always communicating this can damage the relationship. Parents should try their wisdom or perspective on things without criticism to express. Children often think completely differently than their parents – and can quickly detect accusations in well-intentioned words. Understanding and empathy are therefore the be-all and end-all of communication. The time when children are dependent on their parents’ problem-solving skills and constantly need help passes as they grow up and into adulthood, and this must be accepted.
Parents should try one To create an atmosphere in which young people feel like they can talk. Regular family meetings are a good way to talk about problems – and if there aren’t any, everyone can just enjoy the time together and be there for each other. It is very important to be aware that children have their own personalities and therefore it does not always have to be the case that both parties look at something from the same perspective.
Sources used: Psychology Today, extramile.thehartford.com, focusonthefamily.com