According to an expert, there is an essential question to ask a loved one who is unwell, to really help them get through the crisis period. We’ll tell you which one.
When someone close to us is experiencing negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety or anger, we do not always the appropriate reaction. Indeed, when faced with a loved one in difficulty, it is natural to want “adjust” Their problems for example by giving advice. And even if it comes from a good intention, it is not necessarily what the person in difficulty needs to hear.
Worse still, providing unsolicited advice during a crisis can even worsen the situation. To truly show empathy and not settle into the role of unconscious savior, there is a question to ask. This is the question: “Do you need help, listening or a hug?” according to special education teacher Heather Stella.
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A question that helps your loved ones
Indeed, when a situation puts us in difficulty, we sometimes have need for comfort, to let off steam or need a loved one to provide us with a solution. And the benefit of asking this question directly allows us to know what the other expects from us and thus to sincerely respond to their needs.
Each of the 3 options, namely the hug, the thoughtful advice or the empathetic ear allows comfort and calm. Hugging increases oxytocin levels, the social bonding hormone, and helps reduce stress. Quality listening can “reduce defensiveness during difficult and intimate conversations”, explains the expert.
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Do not project your expectations onto others
The expert explains that conversely, some couples need to give each other advice in order to be more satisfied with their relationship. The key is to ask your loved one what they need. “A response, such as reassurance, can be effective when experiencing anxiety, but may further exasperate someone who is frustrated,” she declared.
Furthermore, Jada Jackson, mental health counselor, notes that what is best for us is not necessarily what our loved ones expect. For example, if you tend to need a hug when things aren’t going well, that doesn’t mean your partner does.
Passionate about women’s news, Agathe has been deciphering the latest trends for aufeminin since 2022. Her favorite areas? Psychology, nutrition and well-being advice, without forgetting the tips…