First separation: tips and advice to make sure everything goes well with baby.
On mom's side
During a few months, on maternity leave, you lived in total symbiosis with your baby. And suddenly, you jump back into working life, a life full of schedules and obligations, without your baby. Separation is part of a child's development, and it is far from obvious! And even if you feel like getting back to work, the transition can be difficult. How to deal with this? Try to talk about it: with your spouses or friends, it will help you to pass the course.
And the child in all this?
Baby does not know how to express it in words, yet he will react to the separation, and so do all children. This is why it is essential to go through a week of adaptation before a complete separation. This week will also allow you to better understand how baby's days unfold, far away from you. this will reassure you and baby will quickly take its marks!
Whether at the nursery or with a nanny, the adaptation is similar: for a few days, spend a few hours with your baby in the presence of his nanny or at the nursery then space your absences. Dramatize and avoid sentences like: I will miss you, I'm sad without you … And above all, take the guilt off: you are not a bad mother because you leave your child to go to work.
Establish a climate of trust with the caregiver of your child.
– In crèche, take the time to talk to the auxiliaries;
– At the nanny's place: respect her work and be punctual (hours, payment). If you chat every night for 20 minutes with her, pay her that time. Likewise, clearly (but gently) explain the points to be improved, but above all tell him how satisfied you are.
On the aufeminin forum, Fanny, a mother of two, wishes to reassure women faced with this first experience: “What must absolutely be privileged is trust: you must have absolute trust in the person to whom you entrust it (starting with 2 hours already, that will be good). If you feel guilty by leaving it or if you have any other state of mind your owl will feel it and obviously it will rush into this flaw. So be zen tell yourself that you deserve a face to face with yourself since time! ” Another internet user, Jessica said: “Just leave for a few minutes at the start, you'll see it feels good anyway and afterwards you'll be super happy to find your little one !!”
Separation, a distressing experience
Anguish, sadness, returning to work, even if desired, is a real change. The separation will obviously be better lived if the mode of care has been chosen and if the third party is trusted.
Be careful not to get hold of your child's emotions: he is a subject, thinking and feeling with his otherness in relation to you. Your child needs to adapt, allow him to deal with new emotions.
And even if he sleeps badly at first, remember that separation is structuring. Because the mother's absence does not mean emotional deprivation provided that the mother is sufficiently reassuring and loving for her child.
Explain to your child that this separation will be all the better. And be reliable in order to build trust: don't tell him you'll be home early if you don't, don't leave him when his back is turned and let him know! Tell him who will come to pick him up, etc … Thus, the separation will become "natural" for your child as soon as his emotional needs are satisfied.
Prepare well for separation
For the separation to go as well as possible, it is important that you feel reassured and at ease at the idea of leaving your child with your spouse or a third party. If you are breastfeeding, you can express your milk and store it in the fridge. If you want to opt for infant milk, you will need to contact a health professional who will direct you to the type of milk suitable for your baby.
To approach this first step with serenity, turn to an expert brand that you can trust. Guigoz Laboratories, which have been doing research on breast milk for over 60 years, have proven themselves in this area.
Breast milk is the ideal food for babies up to 6 months, according to WHO recommendations. To offer your baby a smooth transition from breastfeeding, you can turn to formulas with a2 milk such as Evolia a2 (link), combining a unique combination of ingredients (adjusted proteins, DHA, AAL, Zinc, iron, vitamins A, C and D (in accordance with the regulations on follow-on milks) and all without palm oil), it perfectly meets the nutritional needs of your little one.
And for the rest, among the wide range offered, there will necessarily be milk suited to your baby's needs. Did you know that GUIGOZ 2 follow-on milks exist in a thickened version with fibers, in an organic version without palm oil, in a version specifically adapted to babies with a history of allergies or to reduce regurgitation ?
– Article produced in partnership with Guigoz –