It's official, you are a wedding witness. Good news, then. But you might as well admit it: a little something bothers you, we called the essential speech. What to do, what to say? How to aim right and not to stutter? Our advices.
“We are gathered today on this happy occasion to celebrate the love so strong that Monica and Chandler share. It is a love based on the act of giving and receiving, just as much as on possession and sharing, and this love they give, possess, share and receive, and through this possession, this act of giving, this act of sharing and receiving, we too can share this love by giving and receiving it ”. This little speech by Joey Tribbiani (Friends series) to show you … what you can do but what not to do. These words, too, to introduce appropriately (and with humor) the instructions for use that follow. Because writing and delivering a wedding speech as a witness is not always easy. We're looking for inspiration, tone, the right joke, the right catchphrase. There is a fear of doing too much or not enough, of tiring the audience or worse of falling asleep. So that these fears are gone, and since you take your role to heart, from the organization of the bachelorette party (bachelor party) to the speech to be given, discover our advice.
To find the impetus, take notes
Before you jump on a blank sheet of paper, just “think” and take notes. Inspiration often comes when you are not looking for it. Get in the habit of thinking about the future spouses you want to celebrate, as well as the bonds between you. What images are invited? What emotions are you going through? What memories surprise you? All these little details are not: they will feed the text of your wedding speech. So bring them together, they are your base, and continue to let your heart speak, this is often where the prettiest witness talks are born.
The three principles to keep
Your wedding witness speech should be built on three principles: first, you should briefly introduce yourself. It is not a question of telling your life, your job, your projects, your father, your culinary tastes, but to allow the assembly to locate you (it is a friend of the bride, the sister of the groom …) . Then, second principle: put the bride and groom in the spotlight and wish them all the best in the world. This is your role as witness to the relationship! Your speech must therefore come back to their love story, their meeting, their earliest memories … Finally, third principle: we must conclude. Let's say it's best to end on a nice note, a strong sentence. It could be a quote about love, or it could be words that belong to you and show your support, admiration and friendship for the couple.
Original wedding speech ideas and examples
Once you have respected these principles, it is up to you to write the speech of your choice, to choose the tone and the approach that suits you and that will integrate perfectly into the wedding ceremony. Ideas to draw!
If you are slightly shy and want to add dynamism to your speech, you can deliver it with the other witnesses of the bride, or the witnesses of the groom. It can be a dialogue between you, or a relay: everyone reads a passage.
- A dose of humor (and what it takes of jokes)
Humor can be a common thread, but don't force it – if that's not your thing, don't try to make people laugh at all costs. You will be uneasy. Conversely, if you are keen on humor, prefer anecdotes that speak to everyone rather than "private jokes". The "private jokes" (in French) could throw off guests who do not belong to the circle close to the bride and groom.
You can, without worry, address the groom or the bride directly (I knew you when you were six …). You can also address both of them and therefore use the second person plural, or even the third person.
- The angle of temporality
If you are afraid of lacking rhythm, dare to use a "temporal" discourse that traces the couple's relationship: 2003, they meet, 2004, they settle down together … Until D-Day, when they become husband and wife!
- Context as a lifeline!
If you don't know how to get started, contextualize and be honest, it will only be more touching: when Marion asked me to be a witness, I jumped for joy, but when I understood that I had to find the words for a speech, I changed identity… Finally you get the idea!
- Thanks at the heart of your speech
It is also possible to choose the angle of the thanks: thanking your friend or your friend for your friendship, for their presence or for their vision of love will help you find the impetus and frame your speech.
If you know the parents or the family of the bride and groom, you can include all these beautiful people in your speech. You will reach a larger audience. This is all the more valid if you are part of the family yourself (the bride is your sister, the groom your brother, or your father …).
- The "poem" atmosphere!
You can read a poem as an introduction or a conclusion, if possible a poem that sticks to the bride and groom and will bring a good deal of emotion. Otherwise, it is possible to write a poem. There you go into rhymes! Aim for a short format instead, but have fun (Once upon a time was Maryse, once upon a time Edouard, once upon a gray jacket that meets a black suit; rush hour in row two, because love doesn't no time, and then their big eyes were planted in their hearts…). This is an example, then.
This does not mean that you are going to push the song. You can simply recover its construction to give you a direction: I was nothing and here it is, I am witnessing the happiest day of their lives … (So you recognized Cabrel).
What if I'm really afraid of being watched by all the wedding guests?
Do not be afraid to upset the bride or groom: you have the right to be scared to death at the thought of launching into a speech! There are other options available to you. You can deliver a speech that changes traditional speeches by relying on a photo slideshow (the focus will be on pictures rather than your words), a game, a movie, or even signs (a la Love Actually!). You write your words, your sentences, your feelings on boards and you turn them over one by one. Your speech will obviously be shorter, but it will also mark the spirits and celebrate the union of the day just as much.
Manage the timing of the speech
Beware of speeches that are too long or speeches too short. The former can tire, the latter frustrate. Usually, a witness speech lasts between five and eight minutes. This is the most recommended timing.
A training phase
To make your wedding witness speech a success, practice us (alone or in front of friends!). The goal is not so much to know your speech by heart (although that is a plus, because it is reassuring), but rather to capture its tone and rhythm. The more you read it aloud and in situation, the more you will be able to rearrange certain sentences or review certain extracts. You will feel, orally, what is good and not so good, enough to adjust!
How to manage your stress ?
Although exercise doesn't scare you, it can be intimidating. It's a great moment, and as a witness you may be feeling some pressure. Here are some tips to help you relax at the thought of speaking in front of all these little people:
- Long before the ceremony, visualize yourself reading your speech. Close your eyes and project a positive scene. These images will help you to apprehend the moment positively.
- Practice ventral breathing: inhale deeply through your nose and puffing up your chest, then exhale slowly, bringing your palms together (not lowering them). Take the time to do this exercise during the evening, and do not hesitate to do it a few minutes before speaking in public.
- Ask someone to introduce you. If this person takes the floor and announces you, you will feel more comfortable. Otherwise, lean on the eternal "I would like to raise a toast …". It's a bit trivial but it has the merit of mobilizing the room. The way opens!
- Remember that you are making this speech for them, for the bride and groom, and this is a text written in their honor. So don't worry so much about your performance or your looks. It is a gift that you give to your friends who will be touched by your presence, your loyalty and your words from their hearts.
- Alcohol abuse is dangerous for your health, but a little glass of champagne can, who knows, set you free.
- Read the novel "The Speech" by Fabrice Caro. It's funny and it can only reassure you in the face of this flattering request from your loved ones, but not necessarily easy to put into practice!
Five things to remember for a successful wedding witness speech
- Do not talk (only) about yourself, but talk about the married couple, their relationship, their love!
- Let your heart speak in order to offer a speech that suits you. There is no such thing as a good model, only yours!
- Remember to train to feel as comfortable as possible on D-Day.
- Don't hesitate to go for an original format if you feel more comfortable.
- Offer a moving conclusion, share your best wishes and congratulations.