Mother of 4 children, Lorène, decided to have her tubes tied to avoid having any more children. A carefully considered choice, which was not easy to make, but which today brings her a form of serenity that she did not have until then. Narrative.
It took a lot of courage and hours of reflection to Lorene37, to decide on get done ligate the tubes. If this mother of 4 children, made the choice of this permanent method of contraception three years ago, at the age of 35, it is not lightheartedly. Being hyperfertile and having a heart disease, a heart defect that required him to wear only contraceptive patches, it was his only option. But before taking the plunge, she had to face, like other women, the refusal of her gynecologist and then, one day, a traumatic event that upset her.
“After my third child, I asked for the first time to have my tubes tied, because my health concerns prevented me from inserting an IUD. I had tried the implant, it did not suit me. The patches contraceptives were a solution, but I had my third boy under patch“she tells us. First refusal on the part of her doctor, who explains to her that she is too young and that she will inevitably regret it. “I really had the impression of not having my body as I wanted as a woman, and of not being listened to”, she adds. Meanwhile, Lorène experienced the painful loss of a child, a little girl. She had to undergo a medical termination of pregnancy, and having experienced this, she feared that one day she would have to have an abortion because she would have had too many children. Unfortunately, that’s what happened…
Pregnancy too many…
After her third pregnancy, Lorène becomes pregnant again while still on contraception. She again asks to be tied up, second refusal “because I was ‘only’ 35 years old”, she explains. A year after giving birth a fifth surprise pregnancy occurs. Too many times…
“I had to have an abortion. The thing I feared the most I experienced it and it was a real pain for me. After that, I left no choice to my gynecologist, he saw me collapse in his office, I already had 4 children and I didn’t want any more. I even had to tell him that I would go somewhere else to have the surgery, and in the end he agreed.”
Getting your tubes tied, a tough choice
Before making her choice, Lorène had time to think during two months. She asked herself a lot of questions, especially if this act, from a moral point of view, as a woman was going to imply something. “Because a woman can also feel like a woman by carrying life, by being a mother. I said to myself ‘if I can’t have any more, will that have an impact on my femininity’. I would have liked that my companion had a vasectomy but for him, religiously, being a Muslim, it was very complicated to imagine being sterilized. Me, on my side, I was tired of my body being constantly subjected to pregnancies, abortions “, she says. It is the people who experience it who know it better than anyone.
What we also do not imagine is that hyperfertility that touches Lorene is absolutely not easy to live. This is a subject that is rarely talked about and which is often surrounded by received ideas. “We talk a lot about sterility, but hyperfertility is not simpler. We hear ‘you can have children as you want, why are you complaining’, when no, we cannot have children all the time, It’s not possible. It’s also complicated in my couple, sexually. I’ve been with my partner for 15 years, and we used to wear condoms all the time. Our sexual relations had changed. We didn’t was more free in our heads, we were always afraid that it would cause a pregnancy.
On the day of the operation, an additional step…
Once decided, the day of the operation was taken. We could say that from there, the biggest is done, that it will be simple afterwards, but no. Supported by her family and her companion, Lorène was hospitalized for two and a half days, and again for the young woman it was a new step to takeas well physically that psychologically.
“The surgery lasted about forty minutes. I had a general anesthetic and my gynecologist put what is called a clip system in my fallopian tubes. He even made humor in telling me ‘for you I put a double clip on you, you never know.’ He did that by laparoscopy, he made three small openings, one under the navel, another near the appendix and a final near the hernia. Then they inflated my belly with gas so that the machines could work inside”, she says.
The lack of psychological support
From a medical point of view, everything went well, the operation was a success, but for Lorène returning to her hospital room, once awake, was difficult. “To be honest, I was not immediately relieved, I still had a lot of questions in mind. I would have liked to have psychological support at that time, but no one offered it to me. We do not realize what a woman can feel. I felt alone, but thanks to my 4 children I quickly got back on track”she remembers.
Today, looking back, Lorene does not regret her choiceshe accepts it. “Having your tubes tied is permanent, of course, but it offers serenity in everyday life, there is no equivalence, when you are sure of yourself. It also allowed my couple to ensure peace of mind during our relationship”concludes the young mother. His only regret, not having had other options.
Learn more about hyperfertility
Hyperfertility has no no scientific explanation yetbut for some health professionals it would be above all a couple story. The concept itself refers to women who are particularly fertile and who are lucky (or unlucky) to have resistant eggs. But men also enter into the equation. Usually they also have “a particularly efficient spermogram”detailed doctor Marie-Laure Brival, gynecologist-obstetrician, to our colleagues at the Maison des Maternelles.
Sometimes also, this hyperfertility can be explained by contraception that is not suitable Where which works less well in some women. Remember also that no contraceptive method is 100% effective. The pill, for example, is 99% reliable, the risk is limited but it is present.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), on average over a year, 8% of pregnancies take place on the pill. It is also important to remember that 3 out of 4 abortions are performed on women who were taking a contraceptive and became pregnant, against their will.
Many thanks to Lorène for sharing her story with us.