A psychologist has revealed the characteristics of toxic or even narcissistic parents with their children. Unsuspected behaviors that must absolutely alert!
It is sometimes difficult, as a parent, to know how to properly educate your children. Some take the example of their own parents, others conversely prefer to do just the opposite, in any case it is important to think about it before starting a family. There is not just one educational model to follow, there are dozens that you can mix and match or not. You just have to check that these educational principles are not harmful to children…
Psychologist Ramani Durvasula has pointed out the traits and characteristics of toxic parents with their children. The 6 behaviors she found do not seem, at first glance, dangerous for children, but they are. Ramani Durvasula, who studies narcissism, testified to our colleagues from cnbc.com and its warnings are not to be taken lightly.
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The 6 behaviors of toxic parents that should alert
It is important to notice the toxic behaviors of parents because they have great impacts on their children. The psychologist explains: “I’ve found that children of narcissistic parents can grow into adults who struggle with guilt, doubt themselves, and constantly feel like they’re not enough.” She also cautions before developing the 6 personality traits she noted: “While not all highly narcissistic parents behave the same way, there are universal themes.” Here are the 6 behaviors on which we must be vigilant according to the psychologist:
- “They encourage in public but criticize in private” : “They could be front and center cheering on their kids at the football game. But they will criticize or belittle them in the privacy of the car or at home: “Why didn’t you try harder? You could have scored two more goals!” All this creates guilt in the child: the others think that his parents are behind him, so he has trouble confiding in what he is going through at home.
- “They create an atmosphere of mistrust” : Narcissistic parents seek to have power within the family, even if it means confiding little stories “to foster an “us versus them” feeling.
- “They treat siblings differently” : The specialist explains “Narcissist parents play favorites. If they value academic achievement, for example, they might ignore a child who is struggling in school, in favor of one who gets A’s.”
- “They see their children as an extension of themselves” : This is surely one of the behaviors that we find the most among parents. Living their dream through their children but it can be very harmful for them, they forget their own dream for those of their parents.
- “They expect their children to have the same emotions as them at the same time” : The psychologist explains this particular trait “For a narcissistic parent, if the child’s mood is at odds with their own (for example, the child is sad when the parent is happy), they may view it as disloyal. Over time, a child may stop trusting their own emotions.”
- “They shame a child for having or expressing needs” : Here again, it is a rather widespread behavior on which we must be vigilant. “Narcissist parents often overlook their child’s hopes, preferences, or beliefs.”
Parenting writer
Zoé is on a work-study program, she joined the aufeminin team in September 2022, she writes for the parenting section. Committed and curious, Zoé likes to write to advance…