“I come from a popular and loving family, in Boulogne-sur-Mer [Pas-de-Calais]. I had a happy childhood, surrounded by my brothers and sisters, my mother, who took care of us at home, and my father, a driver in a marine forge. Love was everywhere.
When I was little, I was a dreamer, a nice guy, like my father. The year I turned 15, he fell ill and I lost the carefree childhood. Times are tough, including financially. The atmosphere becomes stifling. I’m going to study graphic arts, with the anxiety of losing my father and the guilt of costing my family money. I met my future wife and married her at 20 with the consent of her parents – at the time, she was not an adult and had to be emancipated.
Our daughter is born, and I find a job in a publishing house in Trappes [Yvelines], in the suburbs of Paris. In my department, everything is celebrated: birthdays, holidays, births. And even when there is nothing to celebrate, we water it down. It’s “open bar”.
In 1976, I decided to set up on my own and launch into advertising. Quite quickly, my business took off. I have big clients. I move from one cocktail to another, social evenings always very alcoholic. Success is going to my head. My wife tells me that I drink a lot.
“My company is growing at full speed, things are getting out of hand”
We have a very rich social life. We often entertain, we go to restaurants, on weekends. And then one day, in our building, all the apartments are put up for sale and all the tenants access the property at the same time. I became president of the union council, which is an opportunity to organize festive meetings at home around the co-ownership.
With my work, our lifestyle changes. I buy designer suits, my wife fur coats. We deny ourselves nothing. My company is growing fast, and things are getting out of hand. I’m losing control. The only moments of rest available to me are after a few drinks, when my mind floats in a sweet euphoria. I feel the need to return to this state more and more often.
One day, my accountant suddenly told me that the company was in a catastrophic financial situation, which I had not seen coming at all. It’s a debacle. You have to file for bankruptcy. I start drinking daily – whiskey, wine, beer – to keep myself from thinking. The company is in liquidation and I’m a zombie.
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