Pediatrician Catherine Gueguen, who has “accompanied by parents and children all [s]for life “, calls for a “real revolution” in France, to pass “from a punitive education to a non-violent education”. bestselling author For a happy childhood (Robert Laffont, 2014), sold 176,000 copies, or Letter to a young parent (Les Arènes, 2020), created in 2019 a university degree in parenting support for pediatricians at Sorbonne University. Recognized as one of the voices of positive parenting in France alongside Isabelle Filliozat, Catherine Gueguen was recently targeted by psychotherapist Caroline Goldman who, in an interview with Worldaccuses him of ” disinformation ” with parents.
Child psychology doctor Caroline Goldman questions your interpretation of positive parenting. In particular, she accuses you of “trimming educational boundaries.” What do you answer?
In all my conferences and interventions, I repeat that this education is not me who advocates it. It is the world community of researchers, the WHO, Unicef who affirm that the adult must transmit values and benchmarks, but without humiliating the child, and by understanding his emotions. I say it and say it again. I guess Caroline Goldman hasn’t read my books. Non-violent parenting is sometimes confused with lax, permissive, frustration-avoiding parenting. This is a misconception. She does not question the importance of the rules, but the violence with which they are imposed.
For example, how do you calm a child who is having a temper tantrum (which you call an “emotional storm”)?
The child needs us to understand his emotions and his needs. If he does something inappropriate, we appease him. It is not synonymous with giving in. If he’s rolling on the floor and wants chocolate when it’s not time, we don’t give it to him. We calm him down and help him express his emotions. He is told: “I understand that you want chocolate, but this is not the time” or “You will have a stomach ache if you eat too much of it”. If he starts to shout, to type, we speak to him in a soft voice and we ask him how he feels: “Are you very angry with me? Our empathy will mature his brain. We don’t make big speeches, it’s useless. The anger will gradually subside. On the other hand, if we lock the child in the room, we add incomprehension and anger.
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