Since 2017, Marie Lopez has been talking about her fight against anorexia and bulimia with her online community. On Instagram, she has just paid tribute to “the Marie of 2018”, rounder, but above all oblivious to the impact of the gaze of others and her eating disorders.
For three months, Marie Lopez has hardly eaten, while doing sessions of 1h30 to 2h in the gym per day and 10,000 steps. The reason? Marie, alias EnjoyPhoenix, has just agreed to participate in season 6 of Dance with The Stars. We are in 2015. “I lost 15kg at one point in my life, which was not recommended at all for my size and my body type, she confides many years later on YouTube. I was afraid of people’s eyes. who were going to see me in the cute DALS outfits where you can see half of your ass. This is where I started to undernourise myself or not eat at all. I also lost my sanity when I stopped eating, I became obsessed with food. “
EnjoyPhoenix victim of grossophobic harassment online
Following her participation in the show, the star of the net sinks into a depression and goes on binge eating and the days when she refuses to eat. Filming baking videos for her YouTube channel, she goes so far as to pretend to eat the cakes she bakes, spitting them out in the trash off-camera. Her body changes, her silhouette is rounded and grossophobic insults are raining in line.
“People call you fat, obese, disgusting, fat sow. I was even told that for everyone’s sake I had to lose weight” she explains without hiding on YouTube. A heavy cyber harassment to manage, all the more so during his participation in the Best Celebrity Pastry Chef on M6 in 2018, where his figure maddens trolls more than his talent for making cakes.
It is to this Marie of 2018 that the YouTuber addressed on Instagram on May 7, 2021. “In the first photo, I was in the midst of an ACT crisis. I was trying hard to lose weight because I cared so much about people’s comments about my appearance. At this point in 2018 , I didn’t need to be reminded of my looks, I was right in my TCA, so I was in the know “ she writes.
Not a rebirth, just survival
Fortunately, the influencer was able to surround herself with the right people and understand that she should not “lose weight” but rather “cure.” A decision not so simple! “I got my sanity back in hand, I left the bad people behind, let go and moved on. I’m still on the edge, but I know the bulk of the healing is. done, i want to keep getting better and not letting other people tell me what i should be and what i should look like “ she continues.
Today, instead of dismissing the rounder Marie, she respects her. “The 2018 Marie is as valuable as the 2021 Marie. She just wasn’t aware of the impact words were having on her and her CAW.” A maturity far from the famous before-after diet posts that are legion on Instagram. By sharing this moment of introspection with its audience, EnjoyPhoenix shows that it is possible to use its influence wisely. Instead of seeing the slimmer Mary as better, she thanks all the Maries she has been through who shared the same body – who survived the mockery and the TCA.