Gentle educational revolution
Jellyfish parents – do they produce happier children?
© Cavan Images / Adobe Stock
This type of parent leaves room for being a child – and makes children self-confident. In fact, the parenting style has some advantages, but only if you pay attention to something important.
There is a style of upbringing that is based on the complete opposite of what many people advocate in today’s performance society. The so-called jellyfish parents don’t think much of competition, discipline and pressure to perform, like this Jiwa parents do with their very authoritarian upbringing.
Jellyfish parents are considered the free spirits among parent types. What is significant for them: They give their children space to be children. Are they living a kind of gentle revolution – and perhaps producing happier children?
In fact, this parenting style has some advantages, but only if you pay attention to something important.
This is how you recognize jellyfish parents
First of all, an overview of what defines this type of parent. The image of the jellyfish parents symbolizes a fluid and adaptable form of education. These characteristics are attributed to jellyfish parents:
- They try to recognize their child for who they are. By listening and observing a lot.
- You give your child space to perceive and express their thoughts and feelings – and then respond to them.
- These parents place great importance on recognizing and acknowledging their child’s needs.
- You let your child have a say instead of always telling them what to do. This applies to hobbies, for example. Jellyfish parents wouldn’t force their child to continue going to guitar lessons or soccer practice if they no longer wanted to. They take a step back from their own (desired) ideas and look at what interests their child wants to pursue – and what interests they have. If the son doesn’t want to do sports and would rather attend a drawing class, they support that. If the child needs some peace and quiet in the afternoon to listen to radio plays at home, they allow that. Jellyfish parents do not impose their will on their child. They don’t want to put pressure on anyone.
- They don’t insist on strict schedules or rigid rules.
- Jellyfish parents find unplanned free time more important for their child than a schedule full of useful activities.
- They see many things that seem important to other parents in a relaxed manner.
- Jellyfish parents are extremely flexible – a trait that all parents must learn to some degree. Who doesn’t know that plans that have been carefully laid out for the day can be thrown off course by sudden incidents, mood swings or illnesses? Even. Spontaneous response to the child’s emotional world is, to a certain extent, part of the parenting repertoire. Jellyfish parents have achieved mastery at this. They adapt to the ocean currents like jellyfish.
- One of the most important characteristics of jellyfish parents is probably their empathy.
Jellyfish parents reclaim childhood
This style of upbringing also seems like a gentle revolution because it seems to provide a beneficial counterbalance in times when there is increasing talk about burnout in childhood and many young people can no longer withstand the pressure of school, parents and leisure stress.
The benefits for children are obvious. They grow up without pressure, are allowed to develop according to their own interests, and their needs are taken seriously. This strengthens autonomy and self-esteem. Children who have a say at an early age about how they spend their time and who thereby take on some responsibility for themselves develop a high level of decision-making skills.
Jellyfish parents give these good qualities
And that’s what’s important in life and professional life, right? As does the ability to care for oneself by recognizing one’s own needs instead of bending to others’ expectations. Especially in the area of New Work, self-determination and decision-making are celebrated. Jellyfish parents are promoting a new type: namely people who are self-aware, who know what they want because they have learned to listen to themselves. At best, children of jellyfish parents learn:
- Good communication of their needs and boundaries
- Empathy in action
- A good amount of self-love
- The feeling of being important
- The courage to speak up and stand up for yourself, regardless of the expectations of others
- to overcome challenges yourself
- A flexible mindset
Jellyfish parents beware, these are the dangers
But like all parenting styles, this one also has disadvantages, especially if a healthy balance is not achieved. “While this parenting style increases children’s self-esteem, it can sometimes cause them to become selfish and self-righteous,” psychologist Rachel Hoffman tells Scarymommy. “There is also a risk that these children will not work as hard at school or later in their careers because they are not used to standards.”
In addition, children of jellyfish parents sometimes have problems accepting boundaries because they are so rarely confronted with the word “no” at home. The disadvantages also include that this parenting style can demand too much from the children before they are really ready for it. Anyone who experiences too much autonomy too early feels overwhelmed instead of supported.
The lightness of the jellyfish parents can also have disadvantages for children if it turns into spinelessness. The parents and their values are intangible, just as jellyfish are difficult to grasp. In addition, they are carried helplessly from current to current without having any say in the direction. Such parents can be stressful for a child because the child lacks orientation, guidance and therefore support. Children need boundaries in order to develop healthily – and to acquire certain social skills.
Parenting styles: Find your own way
So it shouldn’t be about granting freedoms in order to avoid conflicts. Jellyfish parents have to help shape things, especially through active listening, observing, providing impulses – and lots of communication. Despite all the talk about the different parenting styles, the most important thing always remains: Find your own path, listen to your instincts and decide for yourself what seems to be the most suitable path for you, your child and your family.
Sources used: Scarymommy.com, calmsage.com, safes.so, verywellfamily.com, parents.com