In my view, the most important thing is to reconcile being alone when it happens to you. For me it was a divorce that set me back on myself. I had a long tendency to blame myself for doing something wrong because I was alone now. I was actually quite satisfied, but felt a flaw at the same time. Running away didn't help, so I started to deal with what it actually means for me, what exactly I was suffering from, and how to deal with it. The moment you constructively deal with being alone, you also begin to discover the beautiful sides of it. And interestingly enough, it is easier to feel connected again.
Balance between being alone and connected
I like to say that I am really immersed in being alone. I even glorified it for a while and would have loved to become a hermit. It took me quite a while to realize that this was also a somewhat defiant escape and the essential thing is the balance between being alone and being connected. We always need both, individually dosed. Connections can be found in a variety of ways: with yourself, with partners or friends, but also with people who have accompanied us once and are no longer there, with your favorite poet, even with someone who has a small talk while shopping developed. And of course with nature. To feel that you are always connected is part of being alone.
I am now in a relationship again. I owe the fact that I am able to relate to this in a completely new way thanks to being alone. When you are no longer afraid of it, you can meet much more freely. You don't have to hold onto the other person, you can give them space. This is very pleasant for both sides.
Franziska Muri, 47, is a lecturer, coach and has written several books on the topics of spirituality and life support. a. "21 reasons to love being alone" (288 p., 9.99 euros, Heyne).
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