If we feminists are used to criticism and even violence, we are currently witnessing a worrying reversal of the fault. Our misandry, that is our hatred of men, would be dangerous … Really?
In the absence of a "vaccine", it is "misandry" which will have been the word for this end of 2020. At the end of August, the author Pauline Harmange lit the fuse with Moi les hommes, je les les hommes (ed. Monstrograph), an essay dangerous, according to Ralph Zurmély, project manager at the ministry responsible for gender equality. In an email sent to the editor, he was alarmed: "This book is obviously, both in view of the summary which is made on your site and in reading its title, an ode to misandry. However, I would like to remind you that the provocation to hatred to reason of sex is a criminal offense! Accordingly, I ask you to immediately remove this book from your catalog or face prosecution. "
On September 19, it was Alice Coffin's turn, guilty of being a feminist AND a lesbian, to go out Lesbian genius. She explains in the book that she no longer wants to read, listen to, or watch works produced by the stronger sex, which has again ended up in PLS. Described as "anti-men scathing", "anti-guy manual" and even "calls for violence", these books have received an avalanche of negative criticism from masculinists, but also from intellectuals who call themselves yet favorable to our rights. For them, a good feminist (and by extension, a "good woman") must demand perfect equality: a neutral balance, obtained by waging a padded struggle, sparing both women AND men.
Equality, yes, but …
Except this is all a mirage. Equality may well be hammered on the pediments of our institutions, the backs of coins and in any respectful political discourse, our societies are excruciatingly unbalanced: systemic violence is exerted by men on women, not reverse, and it destroys us. We are told "yes, but men also suffer". Certainly. But when a beaten husband fears filing a complaint, it's because of machismo, which wants a man to control his other half, never the other way around. When someone who is raped is horribly mocked, it’s the fault of the patriarchy, who thinks that a real guy doesn’t let it be like that. And when he's forbidden to cry, it's because True Man ™ doesn't whine, unlike weak chicks. So many corollaries of male domination which, on the margins, damages men, but of which women remain the first victims, with unparalleled violence and systematism.
Explaining that violence resides in our hatred of men is therefore a technique of manipulation, which consists in passing off the victim as the executioner, and in denying the existence of obvious relations of domination. It's also totally moron. What attack has recently been claimed by feminists? Who are the leaders of this smoldering guerrilla (and who has their number)? Where are these militias, all hairy legs outside, waiting to throw bloody swabs in the faces of the males? Nowhere, and yet … These are not the reasons that we lack, to us who undergo sexualization from childhood, the ban on dreaming big (when boys imagine themselves as a pro footballer or president), harassment in our studies, at work and online (while men progress without having to elbow elbows), but also, the detestation of our bodies, never thin enough, white, fertile and young.
"Not all men"
And despite all that, shouldn't we have the right to have hatred? Well no, or else, not against all, because all would not be violent. We would explain to these gentlemen that if a majority of women experience gender-based or sexual violence during their lifetime, it is because a majority of men are pigs – street draggers, stalkers, tampers, hitters and murderers. . Or that if gender inequalities persist, creeping into the smallest gaps in society, it is because this system benefits EVERY man, at work, at home, on the streets, day, night. We could explain, again and again, but would they only hear us? And even, would they not have in mind to exhaust us, by always asking for more pedagogy, gentleness, apologies? After all, what better than a good old "debate" on feminism to gain access to our traumatic stories, which we expose in an attempt to convince, to our tears, to our rage …
"Debates" that have a 100% chance of turning us into clichés, belching harpies with red eyes and drool on their lips, while they remain worthy. Besides, have you noticed that their hysteria is just anger? Their grazing of feminists, a healthy denunciation? Their desire for censorship, a protection of living together?
By twisting the language and the facts in this way, "true equality" feminists will always appear respectable. So let's say no to exhausting pedagogy, to numbing gentleness. Let us refuse the injunction to love, to maintain the link, these “so typically feminine” concepts that lock us up and cost us so much. Anyway, that will never be enough for them, so even if it means losing out, let's embrace misandry, this just hatred of oppressors. It won't necessarily prevent us from socializing, forming relationships, or even loving men. But, misandings assumed, we will finally be able to set our conditions, like full individuals.