In the columns of the American Huffpost, a mother recounts how the tragic loss of her twin sister was a real upheaval in her life. What would you do if the most important person in your life, the one you call first when something happens, was no longer there?
Losing a loved one is brutal and senseless. If we know that mourning really goes through 7 stages, it is still very complicated to face it and to tell ourselves that acceptance and reconstruction are at the end of the corridor. However, this is what this woman experienced and what she recounts in the columns of the American Huffpost. Seven years ago, Michele tragically lost her twin sister following a childbirth gone wrong. At the age of 37, Jenny left behind a twin sister, a husband, and a little boy who was finally in good health.
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A tragedy that no one had anticipated and for which neither she nor her deceased sister were prepared and which no one had imagined experiencing one day. Losing one of the people we love most in our life can be like an internal battle, a fight against our own grief. If seven years have passed since the tragedy, she confides in the time that has passed: “ It’s both a blink of an eye and an eternity…yet it’s neither. It’s a strange in-between where the grief isn’t new, and it isn’t long-lasting either, but it settles somehow, just beneath the surface. »
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Mourning: the work of time
For a long time, despite everything grief experts said about the stages of loss and the passage of time, the mother believed in none of it: “At the time, I wholeheartedly rejected this feeling because it distanced me from his disappearance. » She explains before saying: “No way did I think I would ever feel any differently than I did the day Jenny died.» And yet… little by little time had its effect: “The sharpness and shock of his death have disappeared. This part is true.» She reveals.
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After being surrounded by the deep love of loved ones and their support after the loss of their sister, little by little everyone resumed their lives. Seven years later, she agrees, it’s normal. And today, she realizes that the loss of her twin becomes easier with time: “I no longer cry every time I tell his story. Honestly, his name appears less often around the dinner table. If you don’t know me well, you might not even know what happened.» She says, but nevertheless, the drama did take place.
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A loss still present in his heart
If her twin sister, Jenny, remains as present in her mind and in her heart, she no longer says it out loud today, but she has the pleasure of seeing to what extent her twin has had an impact on all people she knew. “The grief has not diminished at all, but it is true that I have learned to live with this complicated loss and carry it with me as I move on,”she confides. She would have loved Jenny to still be here, not just to have her sister in her life, but to share all the“little everyday things”that she only shared with her: “His son is an exceptional artist. I wear distance glasses now and it’s annoying. The Chicks released an awesome album last year that she would have loved. My garden is thriving and I want to show off my flowers. (…) There are countless books and podcasts to share. I often eat buttered popcorn in her honor and finally discovered the perfect moisturizer for her to try.»
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All these little things that she shares with her in her mind, but there is one stage that she dreads, that of growing old: “The years following her death have not yet aged me enough for her to be unrecognizable in my own features. I dread 10 years from now, and 20 years and beyond. She is ageless. I’m not. (…) She will be my twin from a previous decade, and I will have more wrinkles.» But life proved to her that despite the grief, it is possible to live without the person without whom she never imagined she could do so: “Over the past seven years, I have continued to build a wonderful and fulfilling life with my family, whom I adore. I’m excited to watch my kids grow up, and watching Netflix is always fun. My career challenges me. My big adventures have also been amazing. I made some amazing new friendships and they will never even know Jenny or how we were together. Our old friends are as dear as ever. I laugh a lot because I love, and I sincerely believe that life deserves above all that we smile”.
The people? A whole world! Passionate about media, networks, series, films, and investigative investigations of all kinds, Jessica naturally turned to writing and takes…