Yes, there is!
How to recognize healthy narcissism – and why it is good for you
“When people talk about healthy narcissism, they mean the positive qualities and aspects of narcissism.”
© Demencial Studies / Adobe Stock
When it comes to narcissism, few think of anything positive. And yet there is healthy narcissism – and it is essential for survival.
Narcissism is certainly one of the diagnoses that people most often use to describe unpleasant personalities around them in one word. A friend only talks about herself and her problems at lunch? What a narcissist! The boss trusts no one, is hard to beat when it comes to arrogance and thinks that every word he says should be weighed in gold? Wow, what a definite narcissist!
There is not necessarily just one type of narcissist – anyway, psychologists distinguish between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. And this decision is extremely important, after all we are all narcissists – just on a spectrum, as it is with most personality traits.
In moderation, narcissism is even good for us. Essential for survival, one could even say.
The difference between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder
According to the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” (DSM-5) presents a “pervasive pattern of megalomania”, wants to be admired and lacks empathy. Possible symptoms can occur in many contexts and are shown, among other things, by:
- A grandiose self-confidence in which achievements and talents are exaggerated.
- Furthermore, the person expects to be recognized as superior without having achieved corresponding achievements.
- A firm belief in being something “special” and unique and only to be understood by other “special” people/institutions.
- The desire for excessive admiration, the expectation of preferential treatment.
- Interpersonally exploitative, for example, other people are exploited to achieve one’s own goals.
- Envy and resentment on both sides: Those who have a narcissistic personality disorder envy other people and are convinced that others envy them.
This is contrasted with narcissism, a feeling of overconfidence and a personality trait most people live with to some degree. One end of the spectrum people fall on is “healthy narcissism,” which refers to a positive sense of self that’s often associated with general well-being, explains psychologist Dr. Kristi K. Phillips in conversation with “PsychCentral”.
“People with a healthy self-image can reconcile a high sense of self with prosocial behaviors that promote mutual relationship dynamics,” says the psychologist. This means that healthy narcissism can lead to fewer points of friction when dealing with other people and to respecting the other person and seeing them as equals – which is good for every relationship.
On the other end of the spectrum is a form of narcissism that negatively affects how you view yourself and the world around you. Constant friction and conflicts with other people and an unhealthy self-image can lead to this form of narcissism developing into a personality disorder. But the one – i.e. the clinical diagnosis – and the other are to be separated from each other.
Narcissism on the healthy side of the spectrum
While the term “narcissism” has a negative social connotation, the concept of healthy narcissism has been around for a long time. Already Sigmund Freud established the concept of “primary narcissism” meaning the earliest form of narcissism in which the infant’s libido is directed toward his own body and its gratification rather than toward the environment or objects. In this context, “libido” does not mean sexual energy, but the drive to live in general. According to Freud, narcissism in its primary form is essential for survival in infancy.
The Austrian doctor and psychoanalyst Paul Federn then in the 1930s introduced the term “healthy narcissism” and described it in his publications “Narcissism in the Structure of the Ego” and “The Ego as Subject and Object in Narcissism” as an appropriate sense of self-love. Last but not least Psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut established “normal narcissism” as part of the maturation process in humans. In his view, children whose needs were met were able to develop healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.
What constitutes healthy narcissism Anyone who acts in their own interests is not necessarily a narcissist. © Demencial Studies / Adobe Stock
Anyone who acts according to their own interests is not necessarily a narcissist – and certainly does not have a personality disorder. Socially, this behavior is more likely to be attributed to (negative) narcissism, but more attention should be paid to whether the selfish behavior can be described as thoughtful or malicious, says psychologist Ernesto Lira de la Rosa in an interview with “PsychCentral”. Under certain circumstances, this is more of a healthy narcissism, which can be recognized by the following characteristics:
- positive self-image
- High self esteem
- Sufficient self-confidence
- Acceptable level of self-importance
But it is important: “Healthy narcissism” is not a clinical term found in the DSM-5, and psychologist Lira de la Rosa clarifies, “When people talk about healthy narcissism, they may mean the positive qualities and aspects of narcissism.” And this can include, among other things, the human being being able to set healthy boundaries, being confident in communications, having a positive attitude towards oneself and taking pride in one’s abilities and achievements.
It’s still easier for many people to sink into self-loathing than to turn to self-love — people like that can use more than a pinch of “healthy narcissism,” turning their gaze away from perceived flaws and flaws and focusing on things that make us so wonderful. Because everyone has to show it.
Sources used: wellandgood.com, psychcentral.com, pep-web.org, msdmanual.com, psychdb.com, www.sas.upenn.edu, dictionary.apa.org, journals.sagepub.com, psycnet.apa.org