New book “Becoming a parent” – “I would like to shout to all young parents: It will pass!” – Culture


Despite the “zombie years”: The journalist Mikael Krogerus has written a book about “unconditional love” for his children.

Even if he had known what was in store for him as a father, Mikael Krogerus would have agreed to it. “The nice thing about becoming a parent is that you don’t know what to expect,” says the journalist, who is known for his texts in the “Magazin” of the Tages-Anzeiger. He wrote the book “Becoming a Parent” about the struggles and joys of being a father.

Surprises are the order of the day for parents: you get to know the child, yourself and previously perhaps unknown aspects of life. «But the special thing is that children teach you to take responsibility. Suddenly it’s no longer about you, but about another person. And you have to be there for that person,” says Krogerus.

The Wednesday date

The author draws from full life. In his book, for example, we come across a pediatrician who asked him and his wife: “How are you as a couple?” They invented the “Wednesday date principle” for life alongside the child.

Children still have life ahead of them and assume that it will turn out well.

The couple reserved every Wednesday evening for themselves, arranged for a babysitter and headed out. Often nothing special happened: “We fell asleep together in the cinema or something like that. But there were moments when it wasn’t about the family and the children, but about us as a couple,” says Krogerus. It is “incredibly important” to also maintain the romantic relationship, not just the children.

The “zombie years” are over

Krogerus calls the strenuous time as young parents, when every minute of sleep counts, the “zombie years”. “The early years can be like watching a horror film: there’s no end, you’re completely scared and exhausted.”

But the interesting thing is, Krogerus notes after a few years: “These moments that seem so incredibly long are suddenly over. Afterwards you almost don’t remember it at all and don’t even know what was going on. That’s why I want to say to all young parents: It’s over!”

Read books and nothing else

This confidence is evident throughout Krogerus’ collection of columns that first appeared in magazines. They are friendly texts, impregnated by life with children, and also by the great joys, for example when Krogerus read books to his little son. “My son liked it too, but I especially liked it because it was that moment where I really didn’t do anything else on the side,” says Krogerus.

Such moments are rare in times of constant multitasking and the omnipresence of cell phones. Things are different when reading aloud: “You can’t just think about something else or go through your to-do list. I think the children notice that too: ‘Now my father or mother is completely with me.'”

More confidence and optimism

What Mikael Krogerus also likes about the children is their optimism. “We adults tend to be a bit pessimistic and cynicistic and think that things used to be better and now things are just going downhill. Children live the other way around: they have life ahead of them and assume that it will turn out well. This confidence, this basic optimism is simply something wonderful.”


“You have to be there for this person”: Small children really throw adults’ lives into disarray.

Getty Images/Catherine MacBride

Becoming a parent – ​​Mikael Krogerus would do it again. «Because this experience is one of the most incredible things: that you love your own children so madly. And it is such an unconditional love. I just love them for existing.”

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