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Touching and forgiving: The artist Jackie Brutsche deals with her mother’s suicide in the film “Las Toreras”.
Jackie Brutsche was just ten when her mother took her own life; she was suffering from schizophrenia. Such a loss is traumatic for everyone affected, especially children. But Jackie Brutsche had an ally that helped her deal with the trauma: creativity.
«I drew and did a lot of crafts as a child. “That made me strong and resilient,” she says. Today, art is Jackie Brusche’s profession. She tours the world as the front woman of two bands, “The Jackets” and “The Sex Organs”, and brings multidisciplinary one-woman pieces to the stage.
The fighter Jack Torera
The same fictional character appeared again and again in Jackie Brutsche’s work early on. A woman in a Spanish bullfighting costume named Jack Torera. “She is my alter ego, a fighter, a strong character who does what he wants,” says Brutsche.
Jack Torera gave her the opportunity to create her own universe. The fictional character gives Brutsche a kind of superpower to deal with her mother’s fate. “Something so strong can emerge from something sad and painful,” she says.
Nevertheless, the mother’s story was always present in Brutsche’s art. She was left with the image of her mother as a woman who longed for a different life.
Accordingly, Brutsche often discussed the pursuit of unattainable goals and the devastating consequences that can bring. But she always found a light-hearted, often bizarre and funny approach to this topic.
From the engine to the blockage
For a long time, the fate of her mother was the driving force behind the creativity of the artist Jackie Brutsche. That went well until she was the same age as her mother Carmen was when she took her own life.
“Then the story began to block me because I didn’t know a lot of things.” In the film “Las Toreras” Brutsche goes in search of clues.
Spain, France, Switzerland
She learns the story of a young woman who was born in 1947 in the Extremadura region of Spain. Carmen dreams of the big wide world, goes to Paris and meets a Swiss man there: Jackie’s father Paul.
The two move to Zurich and become parents. At a young age, Carmen was a cheerful, cheerful and creative woman. However, diary entries show early signs of schizophrenia.
In Zurich, Carmen’s condition worsens. This is followed by hospital stays, therapies, phases of improvement and relapses. Carmen suffers so badly from the insidious disease that she takes her own life at the age of 40.
Liberation through processing
Through the search for clues and the filming of her mother’s fate, real relief and reconciliation took place on a personal level, says Jackie Brutsche.
And what about Jack Torera? “Jack Torera can still live on, even if I don’t actually need her anymore,” says Jackie Brutsche and laughs. The fierce fighter will continue to gallop through the art world.
But from now on, Jack Torera’s adventures no longer have to do with his mother’s world, but with the life of Jackie Brutsche herself. A life in the here and now.
Cinema release: November 16, 2023