parenting mistakes
Caution: Our children resent these things for the rest of their lives
Some parenting mistakes can have long-lasting effects.
It is clear that parents make mistakes too. But we should urgently avoid some of them – because unfortunately our children don’t forgive us so easily.
We all know from our own experience: It doesn’t matter how many and how bad “upbringing mistakes” our parents made with us – we still love them! It’s an unbreakable law of nature that children forgive their parents almost everything. But only almost!
Some of the things we do affect our little ones so badly that they can leave their mark on them for the rest of their lives. And then when they’re older and understand that it was us who broke their little heart back then, it usually hurts them even more – and they still resent us years later.
Three examples:
1. We blame our children for our problems.
- Is there a crisis in our relationship with our partner because we no longer have time for him? And especially because our child is taking up so much of us?
- After our maternity leave, we just can’t find our way back to our intended career path? So our offspring cost us our careers?
- Well, our figure will probably never be as crisp as it was before our child was born. And it doesn’t even seem to appreciate the sacrifice…
If we do something like that just think, forget it, honestly. But we should avoid letting our children feel it at all costs! Anyone who develops feelings of guilt for their own existence as a child will have to struggle with it throughout their life – and sooner or later they are guaranteed to find out who conveyed these feelings to them.
2. We give or throw away toys we love.
The little one has smeared the whole floor again, even though we’ve explained it to him a thousand times? But now his stupid, cheap Spiderman figure is going to the Red Cross – together with the felt-tip pens with which he immortalized himself on the floorboards.
Please, please don’t! Punish him with a chore around the house, but never take away anything that matters to a child. Let’s be honest: if your mother of all people had taken your favorite teddy bear back then – wouldn’t your little world have gotten out of joint as a result…?
3. We pamper you.
Of course, it is meant very kindly when we take everything away from our children. Unfortunately, spoiled children have to deal with problems as adults, for which they often need more professional help than mum’s advice to solve (more on this in our article “These problems have people who were too spoiled as children”). And when they then recognize the cause of their difficulties, it takes a lot of humility and stoicism in order not to develop a grudge against our dearly meant educational methods…
You can see five other unforgivable parenting mistakes you should avoid in our video above!