Personality development
Since I no longer justify myself for 5 things, my life is easier
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There’s an explanation for everything – but do we always owe it to everyone? Our author doesn’t find anything and has therefore stopped justifying herself for these five things, among other things.
I don’t know why, but even as a child I was always afraid of one thing: disappoint other people. Teachers, classmates, parents, friends, sports mates – just to please everyone, I worked hard for years. The result: this is how I felt towards the end of puberty overwhelmed and lostthat I first had to rebel violently. And: I’ve never managed to please everyone …
Today, a few years and a whole series of independent decisions later, I still value external feedback and I don’t care what others think of me. But I’m rid of the urge to please everyone. And do you know which annoying and exhausting habit I was finally able to get rid of (admittedly with a little extra effort)? Exactly: to justify myself for everything and every shit – what a liberation (probably also for my fellow human beings)! In particular, the fact that I no longer justify myself for the following five things in front of others has made my life a lot easier. And also helped me a little to accept myself a little more …
5 things I no longer justify myself for
1. No time.
Whether colleagues, friends or family, I don’t always have time for all – even if I have no other plans. Sure, if I turn down a good friend or my sister, I give her the honest (!) Reason, because otherwise I would offend her. But it can also be “I need time for myself” or “I don’t feel like company”. Those who know and love me well will accept such explanations, and those who do not know me just have to know and accept one thing: My life, my time, my cause, what I do with it!
2. In a bad mood.
On some days I achieve top performances and have an open ear for everyone and on others I don’t get anything baked and I am annoyed by everyone. That’s just how it is. What personally helps me best on bad days: Accept, don’t talk about it and concentrate on the most important things. Most of the time, the bad mood goes away on its own, and if not, there is more to it and I deal with it.
3. My mistake!
I forget birthdays, sometimes put wrong commas, often failing to do what I should, and regularly screw up really big crap. And then? I stand by it and apologize if appropriate. That’s it. No explanation, no details (at least not unsolicited). Anyone who knows me knows that I always do my best, that there is a good intention behind everything I do, and that I learn from my mistakes because I take them to heart. And if you don’t know me, I expect you to assume that I do – respect includes trust, and I am entitled to it just as fundamentally and unconditionally as everyone else.
4. Offline.
I’m not available around the clock and when I’m on vacation – for most people – not at all. Those around me have to accept that I don’t always answer everything immediately. And what’s more, they don’t necessarily find out why!
5. I see it differently today.
There are so many things that I have a completely different opinion about today than in the past – and sometimes that past was only a few hours ago. Anyone who perceives that as a weakness, okay, but unfortunately I know very little and only know the world from my perspective. Hence, with all of my judgments and opinions, there is a high probability that any new information or experience I gain will change my mind. What information this is in detail is my business primarily because I usually don’t have to convince anyone.