At 46, Patricia is the happy mother of little Alba. Although she achieved her dream of having a child, her journey was not smooth sailing, since she had to wait four years before welcoming this much-desired child.
“I always wanted to be a mother, even though I knew I was gay and loved women”, she recalls. It was after a breakup, when she was 38, that she decided to no longer wait for the one she calls her “princess charming” and have a baby on her own.
“I knew I was going to be a good mother, that I had it in me”
She began by trying to get pregnant naturally, via sperm donation, with a man who was willing to help her. After 6 months of unsuccessful testing, she embarked on a PMA course in Spain. Suffering from endometriosis, she faces fertility problems and must undergo surgery.
She then continued her IVF attempts in Belgium, and it was only four years after the start of this obstacle course that she became pregnant with Alba. “The desire to have a child was stronger than anything (…) I knew that I was going to be a good mother, that I had it in me”says Patricia.
“She told me she felt she had to be by my side during my pregnancy”
It was then that Patricia met Justine, the woman who would become his wife, and Alba’s mother. “She always told me that she felt she had to be by my side during my pregnancy”remembers Patricia.
Obviously, the two women are experiencing this period together, hand in hand. So much so that Patricia no longer knows “from when we said to ourselves that she was going to be Alba’s mother, but it happened very naturally”. It is therefore together that they happily welcome the little girl.
An obstacle course for “the second parent to be legitimate”
Another obstacle course then begins: the couple must get married so that Justine can adopt Alba and legally exist as a mother. “We had to have around ten letters of recommendation from our loved ones (…) to describe how Justine was as a mother with Alba”or even a photo album, showing, month after month, the relationship between Justine and Alba. “I find it super unfair to have to go through this process for the second parent to be legitimate.”
Today, little Alba, aged four, officially has two mothers. “I hope to be a bearer of hope”explains Patricia, who still points out the difficulty of accessing this route in France, but reminds that “everything is possible”.
To discover Patricia’s full testimony, listen to the Femme Actuelle podcast “And you, do you have children?”, available on all podcast platforms (Spotify, apple podcast, Deezer, Amazon…).
Read also :
⋙ “I no longer want to lock myself in traditional representations”, testifies Dorothée, separated mother
⋙ “Throughout the PMA, the desire for a child becomes visceral and obsessive” testifies Marie
⋙ “I was asked if I was not afraid of dying alone”, testifies Anne-Sophie, who does not want a child