Psychologist reveals
These 4 habits make happy couples
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What is important in a happy relationship? Many would say empathy, trust and mutual support. Psychologist Nick Wignall goes into even more detail.
Every relationship has different desires, habits and problems. Get married and have children? Travel? Start a joint company? Arguments about who takes out the trash, discussions about the desire to have children. There are so many relationships with different focuses – and yet each couple is happy in their own way.
Can we even agree on generally valid habits that make happy couples? In any case, there are similarities, observed psychologist and author Nick Wignall. On the “Medium” platform he shares four characteristics that, in his experience, are crucial.
4 habits that make happy couples
1. Communicate confidently
Unfortunately, the common wish that partners can read our thoughts and wishes from our lips is not really real. All the more important: clear and honest communication. If you find something stupid that your partner has done or if you want something specific, then, according to Nick Wignall, it is essential for a happy relationship to talk about it openly. If you only deal with problems that concern both of you with yourself, firstly no solution can be found and secondly, it puts more and more strain on you mentally.
2. Implement feedback
The second important quality, according to the psychologist, is also about communication. But now even more about what effects it brings with it. Because it is not only important to express your own wishes and what bothers you, but also to accept and implement the feedback. For example, if you ask your partner to take out the trash before it is picked up, he/she says yes, but then doesn’t do it for weeks, you automatically – and justifiably – lose your trust in his/her statements. Happy couples not only listen to the feedback and agree, they actually change their behavior as a result. And that applies to our partners as well as to us when we receive feedback.
3. Allow emotional vulnerability
Regardless of whether we can understand our feelings ourselves or not, know where they come from or not – if we share them in the relationship, according to Nick Wignall, the relationship will be happier. If it’s about negative emotions regarding your partner, it’s good to talk about it anyway so that negative feelings can be discussed and gotten out of the way. But even if it’s about your own emotions, you’re insecure because of feedback at work, you had an argument with your best friend or you’re simply sad for no apparent reason, it helps to talk about it openly. The person you are talking to can be there for you, support you or just give you a hug. If you also allow negative emotions and talk about them, your relationship will become more intimate and closer.
4. Set boundaries
Many people find it difficult to say “no”. This is also essential in order to be able to assert your own wishes – and to be a happy couple. Are you invited to your best friend’s birthday and your partner asks if he/she can come with you? It’s okay to say “no” if you’d rather go alone. Likewise, you can tell him:her that you want him:her to treat your family or a specific person important to you differently. We cannot and should not control other people or force them to do something, but we can tell them what is most comfortable for us and hope that our partner accepts this. Of course, setting boundaries also means that you also respect them – then nothing stands in the way of a happy relationship.
Sources used: nickwignall.medium.com, yourtango.com