psychology
3 surprising signs that your psychological wounds are healing
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Anyone who experiences something painful often has to chew on it for a while. These three signs mean you’re in the midst of healing – even if it may not feel like it.
No matter whether it’s a separation or the end of a friendship, the death of someone important to us, the loss of a job or even childhood issues that come back to haunt us as adults. There are many traumatic experiences in a person’s life that can have a lasting impact on them – and cause them to suffer. Pain is part of life and can never be completely avoided. And that wouldn’t be healthy anyway.
Depending on how deep our emotional wounds are and how we deal with them, it can take shorter or longer until we have processed them and can heal – and this process is never linear. But sometimes we are further along than we think. Because we often misunderstand typical behaviors and signals that show us that we are currently healing. These include these.
3 Signs You’re Healing Mentally More Than You Think
1. You feel pain
We often think: If what happened hurts me so much, I can only be at the beginning of the process. Why haven’t I moved on yet? Why can’t I let go and still feel the pain so strongly? We make a big mistake in thinking: just because something hurts us doesn’t mean that we can’t let go of something and that we’re living in the past. It simply means that we are able to allow our emotions and really feel them. And that is one of the most important steps in the healing process.
Because if we really want to process emotions, especially negative ones, and let them go at some point, we have to be able to allow them first. Not rationalizing them, not feeling around them and not repressing them by distracting ourselves – but simply feeling them, just as unpleasant and painful as they are in this moment. And that sounds easier than it actually is. So if you’re hurting and grieving about what happened, then you’re absolutely on the right path.
2. You need more time for yourself
Processing and healing feelings takes strength and time. And we have to consciously take the time to do this. Many people have the urge to distract themselves and constantly do something when they are not feeling well. And of course we can do that too. But if you feel like you have to spend a lot of time alone right now, that’s a good sign. Because it shows that you don’t run away from your feelings and wounds, but rather consciously create the space for them to come up. Slowing down and really facing yourself is a good sign for your healing process.
3. You notice unhealthy patterns that you previously found normal
Your girlfriend only speaks negatively about others? Your mother constantly belittles herself? You probably won’t notice things like this until you’ve already become aware of some of your patterns. Because when we no longer live on autopilot, we start to question things and unhealthy things to notice behavior as such. And that applies both to ourselves and to others.
We recognize more quickly when we are triggered or when we fall into familiar patterns, such as in certain relationships. But it is also very typical that we notice how other people behave, how they treat themselves, with us and with others. For years we thought things were normal, and suddenly we realize how toxic some people’s behavior actually is. And that can also lead to us separating from people – or at least significantly reducing contact. Because we may then notice that these people are no longer good for us and could endanger our further healing process.
Sources used: yourtango.com, psychologytoday.com, instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist