What framework conditions do we need for a satisfied life? What can and must we do ourselves? Definitely throw these happiness myths overboard!
What exactly we need in order to feel good, to be satisfied and to perceive our life as successful is very individual. Each of the almost eight billion people on this earth is unique and has their own characteristics, wishes and ideas. So there is no recipe for happiness that applies to every person.
On the other hand, there are some habits, beliefs and myths that make many people equally unhappy. Because they make them believe what things should be and look like and what they have to do to finally get a piece of the happiness cake. We can and should forget these life myths straight away.
These problematic myths can make us unhappy
1. The more “successful” we are, the happier we are
In capitalist societies we assume that people are only worth something if they do enough – and that the more they do and the more they have, the more valuable they are. Every person has a value that is completely unconditional and completely independent of what job they do, whether and how many children a person has, which country he or she lives in or how much a person owns.
But the more we fall for the myth that we only matter if we perform, the more dissatisfied we become. Because according to this belief we can never achieve and/or have enough. So there always has to be more – the absolutely perfect prerequisite for being caught in the treadmill of dissatisfaction.
2. It is selfish to put your needs before those of others
As humans, we need other people; it is good for us to exchange ideas with them, to share certain experiences with them and, under certain circumstances, to feel responsible for them. This is of course particularly true, for example, for parents with their growing children, but also when we take care of other people, whether in the family or in another scenario, because they depend on us. Such a relationship can be demanding and exhausting, but also valuable and enriching.
However, we should not always put other people’s needs above our own. This is neither healthy for us nor does it benefit the person we care for in the long term. Of course, we can and should cut back from time to time in favor of others – after all, that’s how a solidarity-based society works. But it is often suggested to us that we have to sacrifice ourselves completely for others – regardless of how we feel about it and whether we can afford it. And that it’s selfish if we don’t do that.
Of course it is always a question of balance. But it is also important that we all take care of ourselves, that we are well and that we have enough energy to accomplish everything that is expected of us. And that includes putting your own needs above those of others every now and then.
3. You can do anything with sheer willpower
Discipline and hard work certainly have their share of success. Of course, this immediately raises the question of how we define success, because that is very individual. But let’s just assume that it’s fundamentally about achieving our personal goals – whatever they may be. And yes, we usually have to do something about that. But we are often led to believe that we can achieve any goal we set ourselves if we want it enough.
But that’s simply not true. Not all people have the same conditions. What we can create and achieve also depends on what gender we are, where we come from, what we look like, what physical conditions and talents we have, and so on. There are countless factors that we simply cannot influence. Willpower, hard work and a good dose of determination can certainly help if we want to establish ourselves in a particular profession – but they alone will not be enough if the conditions are not right.
Sources used: yourtango.com, psychologytoday.com