Expert reveals
3 ways to confidently end an unpleasant situation
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Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt uncomfortable – and were unable to end it? With these three tips from psychologist Dr. Eva Wlodarek, you are guaranteed to emerge confident and quick-witted from the next unpleasant entanglement.
Regardless of whether in a professional context or in a private one, each of us has certainly found himself in an unpleasant situation from which he or she had difficulty getting out. An intrusive conversation with the boss, whom you accidentally run into in the toilet, an entanglement with the neighbor who you otherwise meticulously avoid. Unpleasant situations are inevitable with certain people. But there are a few ways in which you no longer have to run away from them, but rather deal with them independently.
Unpleasant situations end in three, two, one…
Women in particular often have difficulty clearly communicating their boundaries, leaving a situation or simply ending the conversation if it becomes uncomfortable. Through our patriarchal socialization, we have learned that we have to be nice, otherwise people might accuse us of being moody or find us unsympathetic. It’s not without reason that so-called “people pleasers” are often female. People who value being liked by everyone often have the most trouble saying no. The psychologist and author Dr. On her YouTube channel, Eva Wlodarek gives tips on how to end unpleasant situations confidently and quickly.
According to the psychologist, these three tips help
- Practice setting boundaries
According to the expert, “A no to others is a yes to myself” should be the motto. Your value is not defined by what others think of you. The people who value you will continue to do so – even if you can’t take on the umpteenth task from the nice colleague or don’t reschedule your vacation because someone else wants to. Feelings of guilt can and may arise. If you’ve always said yes before, hearing no from your mouth is unusual. Both for yourself and those around you. But with a little time you will get used to the new feeling of self-determination.
- Find role models
Can you spontaneously think of a person in your environment who you admire for their self-confidence and who often emerges from situations in question quick-witted and self-confident? This person could be your role model from now on. Dr. Eva Wlodarek advises that you imagine how your role model would behave in your situation and then adopt these behavioral patterns. This may feel strange at first. The more you practice it, the more natural it becomes.
Practice makes the master
If you have often avoided unpleasant situations, this is a solution at first, but it is not really satisfactory because you are limiting yourself. You were just about to go out the door, then you hear your neighbor in the stairwell and now you wait extra to avoid running into her? This is an avoidance technique that is not helpful in the long run. The psychologist recommends that you do dry runs before facing a potentially unpleasant situation. “Close your eyes and imagine your optimal behavior in detail. You can then let the inner film play out several times,” explains Dr. Eva Wlodarek. According to her, in this way the subconscious learns the appropriate behavior so that it can be implemented more easily in reality.
Sources used: youtube.com/DrWlodarekLifeCoaching, fuersie.de, hellobetter.de