He visits often to share his opinion without being asked. Unfortunately, he is also very persistent, likes to spread out and doesn’t like to be slowed down. He’s actually just an imposter that we should urgently silence: our inner critic.
We all know it, the voice in our heads that keeps coming around the corner with the same beliefs when we least need them: “Let it go, you can’t do it alone anyway.”, “There you are “You’re just too stupid for.”, “What’s wrong with you?”, “No wonder you have no friends.”, “You’re a complete failure.”
Our inner critic is the negative voice within us that is pessimistic about the future, likes to talk things down, and whose favorite color is black, which it uses to beautifully decorate everything that isn’t in the woods. It is not the criticism from outside, but rather we ourselves who torture ourselves with inappropriate thoughts. Often when changes are imminent or decisions need to be made. Then our mind tends to dig up old mistakes, stir up fears and trample on our self-esteem. Not only does this not help, it slows us down. In most cases they are just pipe dreams that have absolutely nothing in common with reality.
Can you finally be quiet now, please?
Discussing with yourself and your inner critic for hours is usually not productive. It’s best not to let him speak for a long time, but to calm him down at the first hint of self-criticism by telling him briefly and succinctly:
“I know you want to take care of me and protect me from disappointments, but you don’t have to, I can handle it.”
“Thank you for explaining the situation to me from your perspective. But I see it differently.”
“I know you have fears and anxieties. But let’s look at the whole thing realistically.”
“My parents always said that to me, but that’s long outdated.”
Or you take it seriously and ask yourself: “Who says I can’t do it?”
Actually he just wants to protect us
Our inner critic is actually a nice guy. Because all of the things he tells us, he only says because he wants to protect us. From disappointments, from mistakes, from dangers. He is born from learned patterns and beliefs, which then have to be questioned when he suddenly becomes very loud and has to comment at every opportunity. It is therefore all the more important to show it its limits and to regularly carry out a reality check to see whether what our brain is imagining up there is actually true or whether it is just hot air. If you can’t do it well on your own, talking to friends can help you get a different perspective. But be careful: some people’s own inner critic speaks very loudly. So take a good look at who can support you and who might make you even smaller.