psychology
5 possible reasons why you really brood so much
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Pondering doesn’t get us anywhere – we know that and yet we often don’t manage to get out of the thought carousel. These can be the reasons why you just can’t stop thinking.
There are people who seem to be completely at peace with themselves. Something crosses their path, they make a decision – and then forget it. Is this scenario as realistic for you as the zombie apocalypse? You are not alone in this. Brooding is one of the super skills of many people. And as helpful as it can be to think things through carefully, it can also be toxic to overthink things.
Constant brooding can ensure that we don’t really get any rest, sleep badly (why do senseless mind games torment us so often at night?) and at some point feel paralyzed because it seems almost impossible for us to make a decision.
There are many triggers and reasons for unproductive brooding. It might help if you know your mind merry-go-round triggers and backgrounds. These are particularly common.
5 typical reasons for excessive rumination
1. You like to be in control
Giving up control is very difficult for some people. They prefer to have everything in their own hands. The problem with this: We never have everything under control. Life is unpredictable, surprising beautiful things happen and surprising terrible things happen. Learning to deal with this uncertainty is one of the most important lessons for our mental health. This illusion of control often causes us to overthink what are actually simple situations. That doesn’t help us, it usually makes the situation worse.
2. You like to be prepared for anything
“If I think through every eventuality, nothing can go wrong,” is that a thought that often crosses your mind? Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that easily. Just because we run through every possible scenario in our brain doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. Of course, good preparation helps us in many situations. But at a certain point we get no further with thinking and brooding – we can just get involved in life and do something instead of thinking about it.
3. You have low self-confidence
Anyone who thinks back and forth endlessly before making a decision is often plagued by self-doubt. Because if we don’t really trust ourselves, we probably have a hard time listening to our feelings – or our heads. It can help to keep telling yourself: I’ll get it done! Even if you don’t believe it at first…
4. Your parents brooded a lot
Constant brooding and worrying can also be learned behavior. If we saw as children how our parents, grandparents or other caregivers and authority figures were constantly worrying, there is a high chance that we will adopt this pattern. We finally learned that this is the normal way to deal with problems. But fortunately we can still discard these imprints as adults.
5. You have suffered severe trauma
Another possible reason that you ruminate too much is that you suffered certain traumas as a child and/or developed certain fears at a young age that were not properly dealt with. Perhaps you were often on your own as a child or your parents argued a lot – there are a wide variety of situations that can leave emotional scars and ultimately ensure that we also follow unhealthy patterns as adults. Excessive brooding is often part of being left alone with our thoughts and fears as children.
Do you have the feeling that brooding is taking over and you can’t get out of the negative thought spiral? Get help, talk to a doctor or a therapist. You are not alone and you do not have to solve these problems alone.
Sources used: instagram.com/mentalhealthceo, psychologytoday.com, verwellmind.com