You usually only know whether you can trust someone when you know him or her better. But you can watch out for some signs right from the start that are particularly typical of untrustworthy people. Which are they?
Some people immediately seem trustworthy to us, others less so. This has to do with demeanor, character traits and, if we’re honest, partly with appearance. What do all – or at least many – untrustworthy people have in common? This can be summarized in five aspects.
5 signs of untrustworthy people
1. You barely make eye contact
If we look into the eyes of the other person during a conversation, it shows interest. You symbolize that you are listening and often make it clear through further facial expressions or gestures how you feel about what the other person is saying. However, if eye contact is avoided or only made rarely, this can indicate tension or nervousness. Is your counterpart afraid of being caught in a lie? Or is he:she hiding something?
2. They are quick to share personal things – except for certain parts of their past
Untrustworthy people want to quickly gain the trust of those around them. How do you do that? They often reveal private things about themselves straight away, so you feel like you have to do the same. But trust cannot be built overnight; it takes time, which everyone should take. Sharing personal information too quickly can lead to bitter regrets afterwards.
It is also typical that untrustworthy people also have a part of their past that they keep a big secret about. If he/she just wants to talk about it at a later date, that’s fine – but if people always talk around it or avoid it, you should be particularly attentive.
3. “It’s the others’ fault and I’m perfect”
Hardly anyone will admit it so clearly. But more subtle signs, such as the person constantly talking about their own strengths, not admitting mistakes, insisting on their own point of view and immediately blaming others, are very typical of someone who is untrustworthy. These people often get angry quickly and, out of this feeling, reveal other friends’ secrets. At this moment the question should arise for you: If he/she does this to others, will my secrets also be shared?
4. They take a lot but give little
If you offer to help, it will be gladly accepted. However, there is hardly anything offered the other way around. You know a lot about the other person, but they don’t know much about you, because your conversations are mostly about him:her. Your problems are quickly dismissed with little empathy, while those of your counterpart have to be discussed at length and in broad terms. When promises are made, they are more likely to be broken.
5. New day, new story
Finally, untrustworthy people often change their stories – either directly to you or when they tell other friends. What usually remains the same is that they are the victim and others are to blame. It’s these small but subtle lies that stand out. Is there perhaps something else that seems fake to you?
Of course, it cannot be said across the board that if someone has one or more of these characteristics, they are definitely not trustworthy. However, it may be advisable to be cautious at first by carefully questioning what the other person has said and not disclosing any of your personal information. It’s better to wait until you have built up real trust – this way you can avoid regrets afterwards.