psychology
6 habits that will make you more confident
© Kay Fochtmann / Adobe Stock
Healthy self-confidence is the foundation for a happy life. But where do you get it from? Coach Carola Kleinschmidt has developed six exercises that will increase self-confidence.
Being confident doesn’t mean that you only see yourself as the greatest. It simply means that you are okay with yourself. As okay as everyone else. You know what you can do, what weaknesses you have – and you like both about yourself. And this attitude can be achieved with six Practice habits.
These 6 habits will help you boost your self-confidence
- This makes me happy and is easy to do: Write down what you did well and enjoyed in the last few weeks. These can be professional as well as private situations. Maybe you were happy that you landed a few perfect gifts at Christmas. And it was easy for you to find or think of these things. Maybe you tidied up your desk really well or presented a project convincingly. Write down moments of success that you achieved with ease. You will notice how good this is for you. And you get a better view of the things you can do easily. These tasks or activities are something like a safe bank for you. Here you can confidently say: I’m just good at this. And it’s easy for me!
- Thanks for the flowers: Over the next two weeks, consciously listen for friendly or appreciative responses. A smile can also be such a reaction if you find it pleasant and feel seen. But of course also nice words, praise, a friendly sentence from your family, your friend, colleague or boss. Write down these friendly reactions on small pieces of paper. You put these pieces of paper in a jam jar or a small box. After two weeks, take some time one evening and read through all the friendly reactions. You feel how welcome you are in this world and how valuable you are to many people. You see in black and white that you are completely okay. And you will notice that you feel more confident.
- That’s what defines me: Take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. In one column you write down the title line “That’s what makes me who I am” and in the other “And that’s not who I am.” First, write down at least 30 things that define you. Maybe you are a person who loves the color blue. Or snow. Or a vacation in the sun. Or drinking coffee in the morning. Or tea? What defines you? Then you can take a deep breath. Then comes the more unusual part of the exercise. In the second column, write down everything you’re not or don’t like: Maybe you don’t like garlic. Or you never go to concerts. Or you don’t like cut flowers… Again, write down 30 things. Then read through your list. Do you feel yourself getting contoured? This exercise will help you develop a clearer sense of who you are – and who you are not. This is good for your self-esteem.
- I would like to have been this person: Beam your thoughts to a special birthday in the future. The sixtieth or the seventieth? And now imagine that you have invited a super nice group of friends and family and some of them would like to say a few words about you. Your task at this point: Think about what you would particularly like to hear on such an occasion. Do you want to be a person who gives a lot of freedom and is always there at the same time? Or would you like to be the person who is emphasized as radiating great joy in life? Take a moment to formulate a few sentences. It doesn’t matter whether you are that person now. It’s about working out what deep values you have, what is really important to you in life. Read your sentences again. Now you can think about what you could do to be that person NOW. Maybe you want to try something new – because at heart you are someone who wants to live life to the fullest. Maybe you want to invite friends over more often again because you’ve noticed that you want your loved ones to say later that you were the warm core that everyone always enjoyed gathering with. Start living your life more the way you really want. When our desires and our being come more together, we feel more confident.
- This is what I achieved: Make a list of the things you have already accomplished and the difficulties you have overcome along the way. Don’t choose the sheet too small. You will be surprised at what you discover with this question. Focusing not on what you still want to achieve, but on what you have already achieved, strengthens your self-esteem. Because you see: you have accomplished a lot – and that’s why you will also manage to implement new challenges and plans.
- My unusual talent: Maybe you already have one, maybe you want to develop one: What hobby or passion do you have that is rather unusual? Maybe you grow your balcony flowers from seeds every year? Or do you speak a second language that is not English? You can also first develop an unusual talent: Maybe you want to learn to juggle or sign up for a course at a community college that teaches a skill that you don’t actually have the confidence to do. Spray graffiti, do magic, podcast?! Learning new skills boosts confidence in unconventional ways.
Tip: Carola Kleinschmidt has the annual companion 2024 “Work healthier. Live better“Written for more joy in life and serenity. With calendar and 52 easy weekly exercises, colored illustrations and space for notes (20 euros, can be ordered at www.dein-gutes-jahr.de).