psychology
6 Limits That Will Make Your Life Better
© Bogdan Sonjachnyj / Shutterstock
In psychology we learn again and again: Setting limits is important. But where do we start? Well, in everyday life – for example with these six limits, the influence of which you can feel immediately.
We have been trying to break down borders for years. Between countries, ways of life, people. With all the construction sites, however, there can be confusion: There are definitely limits that are worth protecting. Our own.
As individual people are, so are their limits. Most of the time we speak of them when it comes to crossing them. To step up to it, to look at it, to notice that you are stronger than you think, to leave it behind. But borders are not always there to challenge us. Sometimes they just exist to protect us. If we ignore them, we negate our own needs. Often this happens when we focus on others.
That’s why we want to take a break now, take a closer look at our construction site and rebuild a few of the walls that we carelessly tore down in recent years.
6 limits that can be restored
The other-problems-are-not-my-problems-limit
The romanticized form of being for one another is often equated with the setting back of one’s own limits. You can call me anytime. I leave everything for you. I am always and immediately there when you need me. In some acute situations, these promises are necessary and correct. But not in all of them. When we ourselves are struggling with problems, we sometimes simply feel sucked out by the heartache of our best friend, the brother’s move or the stress of our colleague. That is why the limit applies here: Other problems are not my problems. I can try to be there for you. I can be helpful and do my best – but only if I have made sure beforehand that I have just enough energy myself. Otherwise it can be said: I don’t have the capacity for it at the moment.
The end-of-day limit
Flexitime is a curse and a blessing at the same time, because working from home means that we have exceeded its limits too often. To be successful in your job does not mean to be permanently available and to be there immediately. We should therefore urgently rebuild the end-of-work limit.
The time-for-me limit
Also likes to get lost in everyday life when one appointment chases the next: time for yourself. You don’t have to be scheduled to run out of capacity for a date. We constantly drag ourselves to sports, meetings and appointments with a guilty conscience, just because we theoretically have a free slot in our schedule – but are emotionally fully booked. We have passed the time-for-me limit too often, so that we should soon feel its re-establishment – through more inner peace and energy.
The I-listen-to-my-body limit
It doesn’t matter if influencer XY runs 10 kilometers – if you get three side stitches after kilometers, your body is obviously showing you a limit. The same applies to: with a headache to work, actually with any discomfort, because our body speaks a lot to us. But we too often compare it with that of other people who, in our opinion, are always doing more – that is a fallacy. Every body has its own limit. And the same things are not healthy for every body. No more comparisons and the pressure that arises from them, we now listen to our gut instinct.
The decision limit
Some have a harder time making decisions than others. But what is good for everyone is to set a limit behind the decision made. No “what if”, no “I wouldn’t have preferred” anymore – the decision is made. This limit saves us a lot of brooding.
The I-don’t-have-to-be-everyone-else-boundary
Distinguishing yourself from others can be incredibly liberating. Everyone else your age is going to party right now? Build a house? Buying a van, getting married, having children, going on a trip around the world, moving to the country – too often we allow ourselves to be influenced by our environment, in which we think we have to “keep up” in some way. In doing so, we sometimes come down a path that feels completely wrong to us. So we’d rather raise the I-don’t-have-to-be-like-everyone-else line. And just lead the life that feels right.
The I don’t need to justify myself limit
For this limit we do not need any argument, explanation, and certainly no justification.