Get out of the comfort zone? nope!
7 pieces of advice you shouldn’t follow blindly
© Skobeleva Nadya / Shutterstock
We get advice all the time, most of it well-intentioned – but perhaps totally inappropriate for us. Before we listen to these tips, we should first listen to ourselves.
Better dress warmly. Eat your veggies. Take your helmet with you. Even as a child we are surrounded by advice that, if we are honest, is more of an instruction than an option, but is packaged differently depending on the kindness of the sender. It is this packaging that makes us, as adults, forget that we do not have to implement every piece of advice.
Because as we get older, the wealth of advice in no way diminishes. Only now we are no longer dependent on them or forced to follow them. Nevertheless, sometimes we even feel guilty when we turn down a well-intentioned tip. After all, the other person means well. Maybe we’re wrong. What does he:she think of me if I do something other than he:she thinks is right? Thought merry-go-rounds like this all too often keep us from doing what we want on our own and nobody advises us.
Let’s be clear: Most people only want us good if they give us advice. Nevertheless, they always look at our world from their own perspective. This starts with relationship problems that quickly lead to a breakup, and goes to health tips to just eat more legumes – regardless of the fact that we love our partner and maybe are allergic to beans of all kinds. If we do both anyway, we’ll end up in bed with lovesickness and stomachaches – and we’re no happier either.
What we want to say: It is worth questioning even well-intentioned advice. These days, recommendations for self-improvement are teeming – only that we humans are so individual that it borders on a miracle if they would do us all the same good. It can do much better not to follow advice and find out what you actually need right now.
“Get out of the comfort zone!”
Yes, it helps to go to your limits in life and to exceed them. But not always, and certainly not when you need rest instead of excitement. It’s totally okay to stay in your comfort zone to recharge your batteries.
“Now pull yourself together.”
Where does this waste actually come from that so many of us keep guessing to ourselves? We don’t always have to function, and you can also just be sad, exhausted or frustrated.
“I would definitely break up with her: him, that’s going too far.”
There we have the popular relationship tip: just break up. Unfortunately, it’s never that simple, and hardly anything is more difficult to judge from the outside than the love between two people.
“You just have to do more exercise!”
If only it were that easy. Sport can certainly be a cure for everything from stress to tension. But it can also become an additional stress factor if you force it into your schedule. Or if you force yourself to do a sport that is not for you. It’s better to see what and what kind of balance your body needs.
“Just don’t think about it!”
Sometimes they are right: For example, it makes no sense to stress yourself out for weeks before an unpleasant appointment, because then you only experience the negative feelings twice. But problems often only get bigger when we try to think them away than when we give them space and take a look.
“Take it positive.”
Optimism is a wonderful quality. But with every positive emotion there is also a negative one, we are not just made up of peace, joy and pancakes – we can also find things really, really stupid before we look ahead again.
“Don’t get excited!”
The female gender in particular seems to have internalized from an early age how to hide feelings – especially negative ones. You don’t want to be a drama queen or a crybaby and you regularly get the advice “don’t get excited”. But anger is good. It shows us our limits. And we can get upset when we are wronged.