According to the psychologist, if there is a permanent lack of presence experience in our lives, this can make us ill. But what can we do to prevent or counteract this? We have a few ideas.
In our culture there tends to be a very sharp distinction between body and mind, and the mental as the nobler of the two. After all, stones, earwigs and jellyfish also have bodies, but the spirit, according to some people, is something exclusively human and distinguishes us in a very special way. As a result, some people neglect their bodies or see them as mere tools to be wielded with their minds. In fact, however, we are a closed entity. A very complex one, but just as unique and coherent as the stone or earwig unit. Our body is the source of our thoughts, and if our heart isn’t beating, we can’t solve an equation or ask why.
Now there is nothing wrong with using these mental abilities such as planning, calculating, evaluating, interpreting and accepting connections and integrating them into our everyday lives. But as it seems, we as a physical unit need time and again to balance our physical and mental energy and attention. In which we don’t think about tomorrow, don’t consider what could be different in the now, and don’t fret about what we missed out on yesterday.
In his book “This Side of Hermeneutics”, the philosopher Hans-Ulrich Gumbrecht introduced the term “presence” for such moments, which has meanwhile also become an important keyword in psychology. For example, the psychologist Dr. Karsten Wolf joins a form of therapy at the Libermenta Klinik Schloss Gracht, which is called presence therapy and which can help with mental disorders such as depression or anxiety disorders or prevent such disorders. Because, according to the assumption, if we experience too few moments of presence in our everyday life, it can make us ill (you can find out more about this in our article Signs of a lack of presence).
So that this does not happen in the best case or we get the curve, if we may already slip into a lack of presence, we can try to integrate some of the following measures or rituals into our everyday life.
8 rituals that can help you to experience more presence
1. Meet people
“Binding is the strongest trigger for experiencing presence,” says Karsten Wolf. Regular, direct contact with other people is therefore the basis for integrating presence into our everyday lives. How much time we can spend with friends or family and how much we need for ourselves depends on our personality, especially on the degree of our extraversion. One evening a week in company is enough for one, the other needs at least three, the third starts with a date every other weekend. Especially when we already suspect a lack of presence in our life due to loneliness, it sometimes takes a certain amount of time to find a social routine that works well for us. However, once we have found it, it can give us a great deal of support and quality of life.
2. Sport (preferably with friends)
Sport is generally a good way to feel our body and to feel one with ourselves. However, not all sports are the same, warns the psychologist. “If the manager forces herself to go jogging after ten hours of work in order to reach her activity goal and formulate the next e-mails in her head, she creates additional stress but does not switch off mentally,” he says. According to Karsten Wolf, the best way to give your thoughts a break is to do sport in company. Go jogging in pairs, cycle in pairs, play football, team sports, attend sports courses, dance.
3. Going to concerts/ celebrations
People around us celebrating, dancing, music that we not only hear, but also feel in our whole body – daring to go to a rock concert directly from a long-lasting isolation is certainly not the right thing for some and will be overwhelmed or even overwhelmed trigger panic. In principle, however, concerts or parties can provide us with intensive presence experiences.
4. Sporting Events
Cheering, cheering, being happy or angry together with other spectators, getting up for the La Ola wave and throwing your arms in the air – following a sporting event live or in company can also be a very strong presence experience for us. But the same applies here: If you are unsure and afraid of crowds, it is better not to buy tickets for the time being.
5. Petting a dog
Those who find it difficult to socialize with humans can perhaps experience moments of presence through a relationship with an animal. Whether it’s a dog or a cat, a horse or a guinea pig, a tortoise or a budgerigar, plays a subordinate role; the connection to this animal and a closeness to it are decisive. However, since the purchase of a pet needs to be well thought out and involves responsibility, it can make sense to try helping out at the animal shelter or looking after a neighbour’s dog.
6. Sauna
Feeling warmth, whether it’s from the sun, a sauna, or a hot bath, has a calming effect on many people, helping them switch off and focus. For some, their thoughts continue to race in the sauna, so it’s just not the right thing for them. But it might be worth a try.
7. Pottery, gardening or handwork
Shaping or creating something with your hands can make us forget about yesterday and tomorrow and immerse ourselves completely in our activity. Many people probably won’t experience the most intense presence experience this way, but it can at least provide some counterbalance to overly mental activity.
8. Physical touch
The longing for touch is usually one of the first signals through which we can perceive a lack of presence. In this respect, regular physical contact is one of the basic measures to counteract such a deficiency. It doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual contact, says Karsten Wolf. Just being patted on the back, hugged, or held a hand can have a positive effect.
If you want to know more about presence:
- “Presence Therapy. New Psychotherapeutic Implications in the Change of Western Thinking” by Karsten Wolf, Fengli Lan, Friedrich G. Wallner
- “This side of hermeneutics. On the production of presence.” by Hans-Ulrich Gumbrecht
- libermanta.com for information material on face-to-face therapy at the Libermanta Clinic Schloss Gracht