We all think we know very well what is “good” and what is “bad” for (mental) health. But can that be generalized and applied to all people?
There are things that we are sure are good for us – or not. Fast food, for example, is clearly bad for our health, as is drinking too little water or drinking too much alcohol. Meditating, green tea and nature walks, on the other hand, are clearly on the plus side.
But is it really always that simple? Can we say 100 percent that each of these points is good or bad for us? After all, just meditating and not dealing with reality at all can also be unhealthy, just like drinking twelve liters of green tea a day. And a portion of fries with their trans fats may not do much for our heart on a physical level – but it can do us good emotionally and at least make the organic damage justifiable. And whether we eat 100 grams or a kilo of fries also makes a difference.
So it’s always a question of weighing things up – and above all of measure. When it comes to our mental health, too, public opinion quickly agrees on what belongs on the “good” side and what belongs on the “bad” side. But the world doesn’t always work that simply and black and white, especially not in the field of mental health. We have three examples of habits that people like to demonize as harmful, but that actually aren’t all that bad for our psychological well-being.
These habits don’t harm our mental health as much as we thought
1. Compare us
The consensus is: Whoever makes comparisons will be unhappy. And yes, okay: If we constantly compare ourselves to people who supposedly have more than we do, that may be the case. But the question is: does the person not have something else for it, or at least less? Girlfriend xy may have a responsible job and a high salary, but she may work a lot more and often feel stressed. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with that, it’s just a question of what is important to you, in this case: free time and relaxation or money and prestige?
In this respect, there is nothing wrong with comparing ourselves to others – we just have to take off the blinders and look at all the aspects that need to be considered on the topic. Because if we have the feeling that our life is going about as well and has similar framework conditions as that of the people around us, then that even contributes to our satisfaction, explains the neurobiologist Prof. Dr. Martin Korte. “Our frontal lobe derives its basic feeling of contentment from comparisons with other people,” says the brain researcher.
2. Binge watching
“You get square eyes from TV,” my mother used to say. However, I have never seen any scientific proof of this. Well: most scientists can probably agree that it is not necessarily good for our health to spend the whole day in front of the television.
But: Here it is necessary to differentiate. Because under all circumstances our beloved binge-watching cannot be dismissed as harmful. Whether it harms us or not depends on a few factors. The most important: control. Experts like Dr. Emil Steiner, assistant professor of journalism at Rowan University in Philadelphia, differentiates between cringe-watching and feast-watching.
Cringe means “shudder, flinch, be ashamed” in English, and this form of television or streaming is clearly unhealthy. It is characterized by the fact that we watch something more or less on the side, perhaps surfing on the smartphone at the same time. In any case, we do not look consciously and in a controlled manner – and according to Dr. Steiner definitely our health.
With Feast-Watching, on the other hand – Feast means something like “celebration” or “feast” – we keep control and consciously watch our favorite series. We were looking forward to it beforehand and make a real ritual out of it. And when we binge-watch a few episodes, our mental health suffers, according to Dr. Steiner not among them.
In general, of course, the right dose is crucial – too much is almost always unhealthy, no matter what. But in moderation and deliberately, a series marathon can also do us good.
3. Giving up
Giving up has an unfairly bad reputation. It can be very liberating to let go of something that is no longer good for us. This applies to people, jobs, habits as well as to goals that no longer fit our values.
We live in a meritocracy in which we are often told that we are only worth something if we also constantly achieve things ourselves. And according to the myth, this also means that we achieve our goals with as much hard work as possible and under great stress. Because that’s the only way it’s supposed to be worth it.
But, is this really the truth? Can’t it sometimes be much more courageous and enriching to honestly admit that studying is no longer the right thing for us or that we no longer want to work towards the big socially recognized goal – small family, own home, secure job? Or it’s exactly the other way around: We really wanted to do something creative, supposedly meaningful, but it would be better to give up this dream at some point and admit to ourselves that as accountants:in we are much happier and have more space for the things that are really important to us are.
No one benefits from calming his or her gut feeling with slogans of perseverance – on the contrary: In the long term, this can even make us ill. It is often much healthier to be really honest with yourself and see if it is still worth sticking to this plan, this belief or this goal. Because sometimes giving up isn’t just not as bad as you think it is – it’s actually the only thing that’s right for us and our health.
Sources used: pektrum.de, Deutsche Welle, zeit.de, psychologytoday.com