psychology
This is how you recognize how authentic your fellow human beings are
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How good is your knowledge of human nature? Most of us would probably answer: pretty well. But according to a recent study, many misjudge it. We explain how you can really tell if someone is honest.
That’s the thing with authenticity. We tend to think of ourselves as fairly authentic, so we believe we can judge whether someone else is “real” or “fake”. But with both we often make quite a mistake – that shows one thing study from Columbia University in New York. The management experts Erica Bailey and Aharon Levy have examined how big the gap is between our own sense of authenticity and the perception of others.
Study on authenticity: We really are that good at assessing our counterparts
For their research, Erica Bailey and Aharon Levy recruited more than 200 business students at their university. In the first round of questions, the participants were asked to state how authentic they think they are. After getting to know their fellow students better for a few weeks, they should again assess how authentic they are. The study came to an exciting conclusion: how “real” we think we are has little to do with whether others think so too.
If we are particularly open and honest with someone, it does not necessarily mean that the person perceives it that way. According to the study, people who pretend to others are even more likely to be perceived as authentic. The problem: Anyone who considers themselves to be particularly “real” tends to find others more authentic. How we assess our fellow human beings says much more about ourselves than about the others.
How to really find out how authentic someone is
But how do we learn real knowledge of human nature? Psychologists have some tips on how we can tell if a person is being themselves or pretending.
1. Stand firm
A good indication of whether a person is authentic is how steadfast they are in their opinions and beliefs. The basic rule is: Of course, we are all constantly learning something new and are therefore allowed to change our view on a topic from time to time. But if you get the feeling that someone is saying one thing today and one thing tomorrow, depending on who the person is talking to and what benefit they might be hoping for, then that’s usually a clear sign of a lack of authenticity.
2. Maintain eye contact
If you have nothing to hide and are completely yourself, you usually have no problem looking others in the eye. On the other hand, those who lie often avoid looking directly at their counterpart. This happens quite intuitively, because we usually know how much our eyes reveal about us. There are certainly exceptions here – very experienced liars may not shy away from direct eye contact. But for most people, this is a clear signal of how authentic they are.
3. Take responsibility
Authenticity also means standing by what you say and do. Anyone who constantly wants to relieve themselves of responsibility when things get difficult usually does not have a particularly strong backbone. Because if someone is honest, open and authentic, then she:he also takes responsibility for their own actions – regardless of the consequences.
Sources used: geo.de, bustle.com, journals.sagepub.com, forbes.com