psychology
Since I followed a rule, life decisions have become easier for me
© shintartanya / Adobe Stock
Sometimes it can be difficult to make a good decision for yourself. Our author has found support that helps her with many decisions.
There are lots of great tips and ideas that can help us make decisions. For example, in a colleague’s text a few days ago I read that we usually mean no when we can’t say yes (the article in question is called ““Simple rules that make us happier” and I found it very worth reading). I also think asking ourselves whether we will still think about a certain decision in ten days or ten months or ten years is a good approach. Here But I would now like to share a rule that I haven’t read about before, at least not that I know of. Maybe I invented it myself, maybe I observed it or copied it, but in any case I noticed that it was mine helps. The mysterious rule is: If something is important to me, I’m willing to pay for it.
How much does the sea cost?
A simple example: I love the sea and I especially love swimming in it. Swimming in the ocean means so much to me that I’m willing to let a jellyfish burn me if necessary. I’m willing to freeze as soon as I get out of the water and endure the cold of the water when I go in. I’m willing to let a wave drown me if I’m not careful enough. In order to swim in the sea, I am willing to take certain risks and endure discomfort – it is worth it to me.
Another, less simple example for me (please don’t stone me): When the corona vaccination was released, to be completely honest, I had concerns. Perhaps intuitively I was even more afraid of possible side effects of the vaccination than of the virus. Nevertheless, I got vaccinated and the decision wasn’t even particularly difficult for me. I wanted my freedom and my peace. Being able to travel, going out to eat with friends, not having to justify why I didn’t get vaccinated – everything that the vaccination meant to me was worth it to me, the risk as I perceived it and I felt like I had to accept it and, in the worst case, bear the consequences.
Life’s offerings and their price
The examples should illustrate to some extent what I believe applies to many of our decisions, perhaps especially to big life decisions: We always have to weigh things up and recognize for ourselves what price we want and can pay for what. There are risks and dangers behind every turn; there is hardly a stage in life that requires no commitment or effort from us. My fears regularly send me warnings: Pain could be lurking here, there could be loss there, things will be uncomfortable up there and this path will probably require sacrifice. I don’t ignore these warnings, but I don’t act on them either, I just take them into account in my decisions. They are like a price tag that shows me what it will cost me (maximum) if I agree to a certain offer in my life.
If I consider the (possible) price of my decisions and, based on that, consider whether I am willing to pay it, I can often easily see what is really important to me in my life. Do I care enough about certain people to make an uncomfortable or expensive journey to see them again after ten years? Do I care enough about taking time off to save for it or even risk losing my job? Is the prospect of a high pension worth working really hard for 50 years?
I don’t want to pretend that my rule, which cannot be surpassed in genius, makes it easy for me to answer such questions straight away and to immediately find the right direction at every turn. But it simplifies a few things for me, gives me a little more clarity and helps with orientation. And otherwise, if it doesn’t help me at all, I just use another guide. For example, I mean no when saying yes makes me hesitate.