Psychology: These 3 rules will tell you if you should avoid people

psychology
3 rules show you whether you should avoid people

Admittedly: I always make up my mind to simply distance myself coldly from people who are not doing me good. And how many times have I done that? Just once. But no joke: This one time (to my surprise) had such a positive effect on my life that I realized that I could take this “avoid bad people” approach more seriously and carry it through more consistently. The only problem is: How can we know for sure whether we should really give up someone or give them another chance? Because if I go out of my way: I often screw up enough and hurt others without wanting to or mean it. And I would also like to be forgiven and given another chance … Therefore: Here are three rules that can help people avoid for orientation.

These rules will tell you if you should avoid someone

1. Rule of 3

Harvard University psychologist Martha Stout writes in her book “The Sociopath Next Door”:

A lie, a broken promise, a neglected responsibility could be a misunderstanding. Two of them are serious mistakes. But three lies, for example, mean that we are dealing with a liar.

So that means: Whoever cheats us three times, relocates us three times without a good explanation (and “stress” is NOT a good explanation), insulted us three times, we should withdraw. Actions speak louder than words. Three strikes and out!

2. Projection rule

Psychoanalysts (such as Sigmund Freud) use the term “projection” to describe a phenomenon that we often call “inferring from others”. People assume that other people have their own wishes, fears, and intentions. Basically, almost all of us do that – all the time, everywhere and above all: without thinking. While we live in front of us, we always see the world from our own little perspective. Nobody is so self-confident and reflective that it is always clear to them – hence: projection. And what does that tell us? Very easily: If we find that someone just distrusts us, suspects bad intentions, and suspects an attack in every one of our remarks, we should be very careful. Because presumably he is primarily assuming himself …

3. Vampire rule

This rule is again mainly about mindfulness and introspection: How do you feel before contact with the person in question? And how after that? If a person costs you strength permanently and primarily, the thing is clear: get out of his way! You should avoid energy vampires because in most cases there is nothing you can do for them.

Video tip: 5 signs you’re dating an energy vampire

sus
Brigitte