psychology
7 signs you’re overly self-critical
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Our inner critic can get pretty loud. These seven signs suggest that you should downsize yours a bit.
Being able to reflect on yourself is an important skill. We all make mistakes, and when we recognize them, we can learn and grow from them. However, many of us have internalized this attitude a little too much. Because we often judge ourselves excessively harshly. We belittle ourselves for not being perfect.
But what level of self-criticism is appropriate and when are we being too hard on ourselves? There are some signs that your inner critic is working overtime again.
These 7 signs indicate that you are too hard on yourself
1. You take no risks
Nothing ventured nothing gained. You can’t do anything with this phrase. Because you always see your own mistakes through a magnifying glass, the risk of making them is always too great for you. Apply at work for the big new project that could really get you ahead? Better not, you could fail. Embark on the journey you’ve been wanting to do for a long time? Better not, something could go wrong.
Of course, it is good and important to weigh risks sensibly. But if the fear of failure is keeping us from pursuing our dreams, then we’re clearly being too hard on ourselves.
2. You are very reserved with your opinion
Don’t say anything wrong! You hold back for fear of saying something stupid or boring. And that also applies to topics with which you are actually well versed. Another surefire sign that you’re overly self-critical. Because the others usually never judge us as harshly as we do. Firstly, because they are usually just as busy with themselves as we are, and secondly, because they simply don’t think it’s as bad as we think. when others make a mistake.
3. You blame yourself for everything
No matter what happens, you always look for the fault in yourself first? As already said: Being able to reflect on yourself and your mistakes is healthy and important. But it’s very likely that you won’t always be to blame for everything. Whether it’s an argument with your girlfriend or a failed group project at work: You will probably have contributed to the problem – just like the other people. But if you always immediately assume that everything bad can be traced back to you, then you should question that more carefully.
4. You take everything very personally
Your girlfriend cancels a meeting or doesn’t reply to your message? You’re immediately offended and assume she’s angry with you. You wonder what you did wrong again. Quick reality check: In most cases, neither the cancellation of your meeting nor the lack of an answer have anything to do with you. Something has probably just come up and/or she is having a stressful day. But the fact that you take these things so personally shows how insecure and self-critical you are.
5. You can’t celebrate success
No matter how good things are going for you, it’s hard to be really happy about them. The fear that you will still make a mistake or that someone will criticize your success is too great. And besides, the slightest bit of joy about something that you have achieved immediately leads to thoughts of what has not gone well in the past. If you only see your mistakes and can’t celebrate your successes, you should take a closer look at your inner critic.
6. You don’t like to ask for help
You clearly see asking someone for help as a sign of weakness. After all, you should be able to do this on your own! If you’re afraid to admit that you can’t do something, or at least need support, it’s probably because you’re being very hard on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with needing help. After all, no one can do everything. But that has nothing to do with your worth as a person.
7. You don’t handle criticism well
Criticism is part of life. In relationships, at work or in completely different situations – if we do something wrong, we have to be able to accept it. People whose inner critic is very active often don’t take negative feedback well. At first glance, it may seem like they are overly confident and confident in themselves. But in truth, a lack of critical faculty is often a sign that we are very hard on ourselves.
Source used: psychologytoday.com