psychology
These 3 thinking mistakes prevent you from breaking bad habits
© Svetlana Timonina / Shutterstock
Getting rid of bad habits is insanely difficult for most of us – because of three common mistakes we are made of. High time to clean it up!
Smoking, picking your nails, a chocolate bar after lunch or that glass of wine in the evening that always makes us so sluggish the next morning. Don’t we all have at least one habit that really annoys us? And which we just can’t get rid of despite insight and iron discipline? Maybe it’s because we’re approaching weaning the wrong way – because some misconceptions about Habits are at least as tenacious as the habits themselves.
3 mistakes in thinking that make us cling to bad habits
1. “All I have to do is want enough, be disciplined, and grit my teeth.”
In order to get rid of negative habits, we need above all discipline and willpower – many think. But since they made the calculation without our brain! This is what constantly drives us to do things that trigger positive emotions (joy, desire, enjoyment). Because discipline, renunciation and gritting your teeth are no fun, our brain opposes such a weaning approach. Maybe we’ll manage to do without the chocolate bar one, two, three times, but if it only costs us strength and effort every time, we can think about whether to have Snickers or Bounty when we fall back…
how are you better Quite simply: We make our brain our partner in crime – by offering it positive incentives and rewarding ourselves for every success. For example, we can celebrate really hard and pat ourselves on the back every time we got through the boring meeting without finger-pulling. Or we write it down lovingly and colorfully with little hearts and smileys in the calendar. Such small measures are often enough to convince our brain that life is much happier without the annoying habit.
2. “The habit doesn’t do me any good.”
Most try to motivate and persuade themselves to break a habit by considering its negative consequences and repercussions. But that is exactly the wrong way. Of course, if we smoke or eat too much sugar, it has a negative effect on our health and is not good for us. But every habit brings something positive, otherwise we wouldn’t have started it. A portion of good mood thanks to a serotonin kick, a stress relief valve or security – behind every habit there is a need that satisfies it.
how are you better Don’t see the habit as a hostile burden, but first make friends with it, accept it and explore what positive things it brings us. Then we can either do something about the cause (e.g. if the habit is a stress valve, we should reduce our stress if possible) or think of an alternative to satisfy the need.
3. “Habits make bondage.”
The more habits we cultivate the less free we become, so should we never replace one habit with another? No, no, and once again no. Habits, routines, rituals are great things so that we don’t have to constantly think and restructure our lives. Locking the door, tying your shoes, making coffee first thing in the morning – that clears your head for ideas and creativity. And so habits that annoy us also give us a fixed framework that releases other capacities.
how are you better Instead of trying to get rid of a bad habit at all costs, we can think of a replacement habit that is better for us. It might not sound like an equivalent substitute, but when we want to drink less wine, it’s a lot easier to celebrate a glass of grape juice instead than pouring ourselves nothing at all.