Have you ever pretended to be happy when you weren’t? Many people probably have that… But we should be aware that this prevents us from doing certain things – and not just from being happy.
Sometimes we just don’t feel like explaining our bad mood. To share our grief with outsiders. Or that everyone knows about our insecurity. Instead, it seems easier to pretend to be happy. We say “I’m okay” or “I’m fine” and not “I’m sad” or “I’m not feeling well”.
It is clear that we do not have to share our emotions, especially the very personal ones, with everyone. However, no one should make everything up to themselves. Talking about problems and uncertainties helps you to cope better with them. But why is it important to stop faking happiness?
3 things that happen when you pretend to be happy
Your personal development is inhibited.
Unhappiness is unpleasant. Grief hurts. Insecurity can make you despair. But as corrosive as negative emotions feel, they can also have something good: we learn from them – at least if we let them. If we don’t do this and repress the feelings, don’t get to the bottom of their cause, we don’t find out how we can deal with them well, what we need to make things better and, above all, to ensure that the situation doesn’t repeat itself. This means: Instead of faking our happiness, it is better to allow negative emotions and learn from them.
Your relationships are suffering.
Having problems in life, being in a bad mood or desperate is absolutely human. For this reason alone, we should allow our feelings, whether positive or negative. Also imagine that the person you are talking to is always happy – at least he or she acts that way – doesn’t that somehow give you the feeling that you are doing something wrong because you are sometimes insecure, sad or in a bad mood? If you consistently pretend to be happy, you will most likely become more and more aloof to the other person. Because our true feelings, conversations about positive and negative experiences and being there for each other in good and bad times are what make good and real friendships and relationships. And in the end it’s exactly these that make us happy – win, win!
You get into a vicious circle that puts a strain on your psyche
You always pretend to be happy so that other people think you are the most cheerful person in the world. If you’re not, you want to keep up appearances – and pretend everything is great again. You are setting unrealistic expectations for yourself – because no one can manage to be happy all the time throughout their life. And that in turn has a pretty big impact on your well-being, which gets worse, but on the outside you should appear happy, almost a “must” for you. A vicious circle is created from which you cannot escape without losing your reputation as a ray of sunshine. But let’s be honest: what would be so bad about that? Nothing at all! Ultimately, it is likely that the people around you will be able to understand you better, your friendship will become deeper and you will feel freer and better. Just be brave!
Sources used: hackspirit.com, vbchange.com